Friday, May 30, 2008
More Prayer and Humor
K guys, I need some more prayer for my friend in my media arts class. Today I had another chance to talk with her more in depth about a lot of stuff. But I don't think the message is getting through just yet. I mostly just asked a lot of questions to get into her mind. She hasn't been in my class for the past 3 days because she's quit smoking and was going through the withdraw of it. I'm gonna keep her accountable on that one. Pray that God would use me to reach her and that it would be God doing the work through me. (I can't do it on my own and that's a fact).
A couple random funny things have happened this week and I thought I'd share them with you. One day my mom and I were getting stuff at a grocery store and a small black bird managed to get through the automatic doors and was flying around. There wasn't any comical frenzy of the workers in the store but it was amusing.
Today I was waiting outside for my dad to pick me up and this guy started pulling on my bag. I turned around to see who it was and I didn't know the guy. I smiled at him cause it was probably pretty embarrassing for him and asked him "Wrong person?"
And I guess how I woke up yesterday might have been funny if she wasn't talking about me.
Peace.
A couple random funny things have happened this week and I thought I'd share them with you. One day my mom and I were getting stuff at a grocery store and a small black bird managed to get through the automatic doors and was flying around. There wasn't any comical frenzy of the workers in the store but it was amusing.
Today I was waiting outside for my dad to pick me up and this guy started pulling on my bag. I turned around to see who it was and I didn't know the guy. I smiled at him cause it was probably pretty embarrassing for him and asked him "Wrong person?"
And I guess how I woke up yesterday might have been funny if she wasn't talking about me.
Peace.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Good Morning!
This one is going on the permanent record. Maybe I'll laugh about it later. Wanna know how weird my mom is? Well keep reading. This morning my mom woke me up by first kissing me then saying "Good morning my little egg and sperm!". Who does that!? She thought she was hilarious. I told her she was weird and that I wasn't getting up because of that. I also called her an egg and sperm in return... Anyways, it's here. So you can laugh your heads off, have fun. I need to go get dressed.
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Whooo! Jesus High, if you know what I'm saying....
Hey guys! I haven't given you any real update on my life since Saturday, although I hope you've liked the other stuff. So I figured I really needed to put something up, especially because these past few days have been very interesting and I'm on a Jesus high right now! SWEET!
My weekend was very busy with essay writing because I had slacked off before hand. I got distracted once or twice, but overall I worked pretty hard. And considering I HATE essays, I think I did a pretty good job on it. It will be interesting to get that back. That was my culminating for English worth 15%, so I'm really glad that's out of the way.
That's the tip of my iceberg of things that are going on in my life. So I'll keep going onwards... Monday was amazing! It was the last Bible study type group night with the people I'm going to Thunderbay with and also my friends Morgan and Jake who aren't going to Thunderbay. The three leaders who are leaders there (obvi.) were praying for certain people in the group and stuff and we each got individually prayed for this week too. Jodi, an amazing person who loves Jesus and is a really awesome speaker, she was the leader who was praying for me. All the leaders wrote letters for the people they were praying for. Before I had read the letter I decided that I wouldn't share here what was written because it's personal and stuff. But what she said to me is basically what was written in the letter, and it's not really a secret what she said. And it's so cool and I know that God is in this and he's always just blowing me away with how superb he is.
So what she had basically said, was that the day before Monday (Sunday) she had gone out for a walk with Jesus and prayed for the four people that she was praying for when God spoke to her with the words "Friend of God" for me. K, I'm gonna go get the letter so I can draw from it all the things I'm forgetting. The first verse that he put on her heart was John 15:14 "You are my FRIEND if you do what I command you". That could apply to a hundred different things in my life, anybody's really, but it's a call to live in obedience to God, doing things that please him from whatever angle you look at me. Obviously I'm not perfect, but I want to try to live like Jesus and be an example of his love.
The next thing was "Love the LORD you God with all your heart, with all your mind and with all your soul". She wrote out what each of those meant but that's really all about putting him first, and that needs to happen every single day.
This last thing is what she told me was the one He really wanted me to focus on especially. And this is the one that especially won me over and had me sold, not that the other ones didn't but this one hit home. "That you (I) would be a woman [who] also craves God - with Godly appetites". This is what my passion is, what follows, and that she also said: That people would see what I have, and want it. The relationship with my BEST FRIEND (JESUS). My whole passion (after God) is for friends, that I would have good friendships and for my friends who don't know about the good news that Jesus offers, that God would use me to help reach them. That's the kind of thing that excites me most.
I mean that's true to my character, you'll know as you've been getting to know me, for Morgan that God would keep blessing her whether that would mean me being close with her or not, for my friend in my media arts class who I want so desperately to find hope and love in Jesus.
And even today, I have a friend named Angela. It's her birthday today. I don't really know her that well at all because she's honestly one of quietest people I know. But I see her everyday and she goes to my small group so for tomorrow I'd like to do something for her so that she knows that she doesn't go unnoticed. I told my mom that I wanted to do something for her for tomorrow but she didn't get it. She just said that her mom could do something for her if she wanted to but it's different with friends. Moms basically can't forget their own children, that's all there is to it. There's no doubt of their love but if something comes from a friend than you know they mean it because there's nothing there to make them give anything unless it's of their own choice. That's my take on it.
So Monday was really great. I would've put something up here then but I chose to spend time with God who is obviously more important than you guys because I was on a Jesus high then too and I only had time for one of the two, without staying up late that is.
What a contrast Monday was with Tuesday now. You're like "What was Tuesday like?"
Sometimes I feel so fed up with myself because it feels like I can never make the right choices. Yesterday I had homework that needed to be done and I let myself be easily distracted by just about everything I came across. TV, siblings, food, you name it and it distracted me. Now I did get the homework done, but it cost me a lot of sleep last night. And I shamefully didn't put God first like I needed to. That's really all there is too that.
Today I am in a really great mood. I don't know why. Nothing particularly good or bad has happened. The weather is really nice out today. I'm free from a few homework assignments that are now done. I've put God first today and spent time in the Word before coming on here. I'm perfectly content with who I am even though sometimes I make wrong decisions... I don't know. I'm just enjoying life and it's fantastic.
Have a great day guys, Steph!
My weekend was very busy with essay writing because I had slacked off before hand. I got distracted once or twice, but overall I worked pretty hard. And considering I HATE essays, I think I did a pretty good job on it. It will be interesting to get that back. That was my culminating for English worth 15%, so I'm really glad that's out of the way.
That's the tip of my iceberg of things that are going on in my life. So I'll keep going onwards... Monday was amazing! It was the last Bible study type group night with the people I'm going to Thunderbay with and also my friends Morgan and Jake who aren't going to Thunderbay. The three leaders who are leaders there (obvi.) were praying for certain people in the group and stuff and we each got individually prayed for this week too. Jodi, an amazing person who loves Jesus and is a really awesome speaker, she was the leader who was praying for me. All the leaders wrote letters for the people they were praying for. Before I had read the letter I decided that I wouldn't share here what was written because it's personal and stuff. But what she said to me is basically what was written in the letter, and it's not really a secret what she said. And it's so cool and I know that God is in this and he's always just blowing me away with how superb he is.
So what she had basically said, was that the day before Monday (Sunday) she had gone out for a walk with Jesus and prayed for the four people that she was praying for when God spoke to her with the words "Friend of God" for me. K, I'm gonna go get the letter so I can draw from it all the things I'm forgetting. The first verse that he put on her heart was John 15:14 "You are my FRIEND if you do what I command you". That could apply to a hundred different things in my life, anybody's really, but it's a call to live in obedience to God, doing things that please him from whatever angle you look at me. Obviously I'm not perfect, but I want to try to live like Jesus and be an example of his love.
The next thing was "Love the LORD you God with all your heart, with all your mind and with all your soul". She wrote out what each of those meant but that's really all about putting him first, and that needs to happen every single day.
This last thing is what she told me was the one He really wanted me to focus on especially. And this is the one that especially won me over and had me sold, not that the other ones didn't but this one hit home. "That you (I) would be a woman [who] also craves God - with Godly appetites". This is what my passion is, what follows, and that she also said: That people would see what I have, and want it. The relationship with my BEST FRIEND (JESUS). My whole passion (after God) is for friends, that I would have good friendships and for my friends who don't know about the good news that Jesus offers, that God would use me to help reach them. That's the kind of thing that excites me most.
I mean that's true to my character, you'll know as you've been getting to know me, for Morgan that God would keep blessing her whether that would mean me being close with her or not, for my friend in my media arts class who I want so desperately to find hope and love in Jesus.
And even today, I have a friend named Angela. It's her birthday today. I don't really know her that well at all because she's honestly one of quietest people I know. But I see her everyday and she goes to my small group so for tomorrow I'd like to do something for her so that she knows that she doesn't go unnoticed. I told my mom that I wanted to do something for her for tomorrow but she didn't get it. She just said that her mom could do something for her if she wanted to but it's different with friends. Moms basically can't forget their own children, that's all there is to it. There's no doubt of their love but if something comes from a friend than you know they mean it because there's nothing there to make them give anything unless it's of their own choice. That's my take on it.
So Monday was really great. I would've put something up here then but I chose to spend time with God who is obviously more important than you guys because I was on a Jesus high then too and I only had time for one of the two, without staying up late that is.
What a contrast Monday was with Tuesday now. You're like "What was Tuesday like?"
Sometimes I feel so fed up with myself because it feels like I can never make the right choices. Yesterday I had homework that needed to be done and I let myself be easily distracted by just about everything I came across. TV, siblings, food, you name it and it distracted me. Now I did get the homework done, but it cost me a lot of sleep last night. And I shamefully didn't put God first like I needed to. That's really all there is too that.
Today I am in a really great mood. I don't know why. Nothing particularly good or bad has happened. The weather is really nice out today. I'm free from a few homework assignments that are now done. I've put God first today and spent time in the Word before coming on here. I'm perfectly content with who I am even though sometimes I make wrong decisions... I don't know. I'm just enjoying life and it's fantastic.
Have a great day guys, Steph!
Monday, May 26, 2008
Malawi Vid
I just posted this video on youtube. The song isn't actually in the language they speak in Malawi, but rather Zambia. I really wish it were in Chichewa instead though.
50 Addictional
I'm starting this on May 20, 2008 and I'll publish this when I get to 50. I'll just add them as I think of them over time.
1. I sleep in the basement, so it can get cold.
2. My middle name is Michelle (it's my mom's name)
3. I've never dyed my hair before because I love my colour.
4. I used to collect Beanie Babies.
5. My favourite one is Peanut the elephant.
6. When I was younger I hated taking pills, so I ate them crushed with honey.
7. I was given the nickname Sophie by one of my friends and I hear it so often now I respond. I don't mind it either.
8. There are sesame street stickers on my Africa journal.
9. I have a small collection of American coins, so when they all add up I'll be able to get something out of it through the exchange rate.
10. I like trying new flavours of toothpaste. (I hope we all have at least teeth brushing in common), jks.
11. Right now I'm using Crest Scope Citrus Splash.
12. I really miss Morgan and having her around as much as I used to. She's still here but I feel so far.
13. I'm sometimes afraid of being part of a team for fear of letting someone down.
14. I think that's why I skipped out on my music performances last semester... I was worried I'd be the only one they'd have to depend on for the bass part and then I wouldn't know my stuff.
15. My alter ego is ... I couldn't think of a good one so obviously it's not true, but wouldn't that be sweet. (Or maybe I do have an alter ego but I'm still keeping it a secret, think about it)
16. The first time I ever played guitar hero I got 27% on easy! Pretty bad, and it was in a mall.
17. I snore and sometimes sleep talk.
18. I once slept walk to go to the washroom. My mom found me in the kitchen, cupboard door open, ready to go pee in the pots. She took me to bed before anything else happened.
19. On my first day of kindergarten, I didn't know what recess was and I copied everything another boy did when I went outside to play that first time.
20. My cousin Rachael is pregnant (she's married). I know what it is but I won't tell you what it is until it (almost slipped it) is born.
21. I was born at 3:11 in the morning.
22. I just thought that it would be interesting to write 100 or 150 things I know about God...
23. I absolutely love my small group.
24. Taz used to be my favourite cartoon character, now I don't know who mine is.
25. I'm going to Belize this summer.
26. I rarely mix my socks.
27. The wallet I use now is the same wallet I've had since I was 6.
28. I think boxer puppies are really cute.
29. I used to have a really hyper poodle named Skipper.
30. I had a hamster about year ago that only lived for a month.
31. It escaped from it's cage and had pretty much gone crazy. It died shortly after I had caught it.
32. I wrote a very unprofessional rap in her honour that I probably still have somewhere.
33. The song On Fire by Switchfoot is stuck in my head right now.
34. My youtube username is basschic40. I mentioned that in one of my very oldest blogs.
35. I went to a Newsboys concert two years ago (May 21, 2006) and it rocked.
36. I almost caught Paul Colman's guitar pic.
37. If I have more than one bill in my wallet at a time I'll put the smaller bills in the front and the bigger bills in the back, and have them all facing the same direction.
38. When I was in Africa I always wore my money belt, except for when I bathed.
39. I can't touch my toes. Well maybe if I put in a whole lot of effort...
40. I think I should read Prince Caspian before seeing the movie.
41. I have my OHIP number memorized. (Ontario Health Insurance Plan)
42. My dad once hitchhiked all the way to Florida. I've only heard the story once but I'm pretty he had a gun pointed at him one time. It's a good story and there's more to it than that.
43. I have a football poster on my wall and I have no idea how the game even works.
44. Gold Bond Ultimate is my favourite hand moisturizer.
45. I use Pantene Pro-V for my hair because it's thick, my hair that is.
46. Neptune is my favourite planet (I guess that would be asides from Earth).
47. I love peaches.
48. White carnations are my favourite flowers.
49. If someone randomly bought me flowers it would really make my day!
50. God has filled my life with so many blessings!
Ended: May 26, 2008 4:10 PM
1. I sleep in the basement, so it can get cold.
2. My middle name is Michelle (it's my mom's name)
3. I've never dyed my hair before because I love my colour.
4. I used to collect Beanie Babies.
5. My favourite one is Peanut the elephant.
6. When I was younger I hated taking pills, so I ate them crushed with honey.
7. I was given the nickname Sophie by one of my friends and I hear it so often now I respond. I don't mind it either.
8. There are sesame street stickers on my Africa journal.
9. I have a small collection of American coins, so when they all add up I'll be able to get something out of it through the exchange rate.
10. I like trying new flavours of toothpaste. (I hope we all have at least teeth brushing in common), jks.
11. Right now I'm using Crest Scope Citrus Splash.
12. I really miss Morgan and having her around as much as I used to. She's still here but I feel so far.
13. I'm sometimes afraid of being part of a team for fear of letting someone down.
14. I think that's why I skipped out on my music performances last semester... I was worried I'd be the only one they'd have to depend on for the bass part and then I wouldn't know my stuff.
15. My alter ego is ... I couldn't think of a good one so obviously it's not true, but wouldn't that be sweet. (Or maybe I do have an alter ego but I'm still keeping it a secret, think about it)
16. The first time I ever played guitar hero I got 27% on easy! Pretty bad, and it was in a mall.
17. I snore and sometimes sleep talk.
18. I once slept walk to go to the washroom. My mom found me in the kitchen, cupboard door open, ready to go pee in the pots. She took me to bed before anything else happened.
19. On my first day of kindergarten, I didn't know what recess was and I copied everything another boy did when I went outside to play that first time.
20. My cousin Rachael is pregnant (she's married). I know what it is but I won't tell you what it is until it (almost slipped it) is born.
21. I was born at 3:11 in the morning.
22. I just thought that it would be interesting to write 100 or 150 things I know about God...
23. I absolutely love my small group.
24. Taz used to be my favourite cartoon character, now I don't know who mine is.
25. I'm going to Belize this summer.
26. I rarely mix my socks.
27. The wallet I use now is the same wallet I've had since I was 6.
28. I think boxer puppies are really cute.
29. I used to have a really hyper poodle named Skipper.
30. I had a hamster about year ago that only lived for a month.
31. It escaped from it's cage and had pretty much gone crazy. It died shortly after I had caught it.
32. I wrote a very unprofessional rap in her honour that I probably still have somewhere.
33. The song On Fire by Switchfoot is stuck in my head right now.
34. My youtube username is basschic40. I mentioned that in one of my very oldest blogs.
35. I went to a Newsboys concert two years ago (May 21, 2006) and it rocked.
36. I almost caught Paul Colman's guitar pic.
37. If I have more than one bill in my wallet at a time I'll put the smaller bills in the front and the bigger bills in the back, and have them all facing the same direction.
38. When I was in Africa I always wore my money belt, except for when I bathed.
39. I can't touch my toes. Well maybe if I put in a whole lot of effort...
40. I think I should read Prince Caspian before seeing the movie.
41. I have my OHIP number memorized. (Ontario Health Insurance Plan)
42. My dad once hitchhiked all the way to Florida. I've only heard the story once but I'm pretty he had a gun pointed at him one time. It's a good story and there's more to it than that.
43. I have a football poster on my wall and I have no idea how the game even works.
44. Gold Bond Ultimate is my favourite hand moisturizer.
45. I use Pantene Pro-V for my hair because it's thick, my hair that is.
46. Neptune is my favourite planet (I guess that would be asides from Earth).
47. I love peaches.
48. White carnations are my favourite flowers.
49. If someone randomly bought me flowers it would really make my day!
50. God has filled my life with so many blessings!
Ended: May 26, 2008 4:10 PM
Saturday, May 24, 2008
A Pretty Boring Saturday
Haww... today's been sucha weird day. Like an hour ago I was like "Man, I'm not even gonna go on cause I'm so tired". I still am tired, it's 12:28am right now and it will be later when I actually publish this and get to bed... but you know me - I wouldn't miss a day.
That's not why I came on though, I don't care about missing a day. I just love blogging.
So quick summary of my day. Most of the day I've been working pretty hard on an ISU for English that I honestly haven't done much work on until today. I got distracted later on but that's not the point.
I have this friend of mine named Alex who's in my English class. She went to Africa too, but she was on the rural team, not the urban team like me. We were prayer partners through it all. I called her today to ask her how to spell my English teacher's last name for the essay. She doesn't come out to youth very often anymore, hardly ever. I invited her to our small group like a month back, which she went to last year and the reason she gave me for not coming out to youth anymore was because she kinda felt like everybody already has their own group of friends and so on. It breaks my heart a little. It doesn't make sense to me though because everyone loves her and if she had been coming out I think she could have had a really good influence on two girls in particular who were on her Africa team. I don't even know where they're at now... I asked her how she was doing and she let me pray with her just over the phone. She was slightly hesitant, like ughh... ok. I really need to be praying for her again more often.
So now I'll tell you about the latter part of my day. A short period of time ago, possibly 2ish hours ago I read Casey's most recent blog, titled Blessed. I haven't commented on it yet, but I'll get to it. She made indirect reference to the 5 languages of love, good books I've heard but I've never actually read them myself. I went upstairs to ask my dad about it because I thought he had it. Apparently he does have it but he was working and didn't have time to look for it.
I went down stairs to see what my mom was doing. Talking on the phone, typical. She was talking with my Gramma for soo long while watching the news. I waited the whole time for her to talk to me but by the time she got off it, it was too late to talk. (sigh) It upsets me the way she spent so long talking with her mom but hardly said anything to me. I'm not that interested in the news... if I wait that long I probably want something. Some attention might be nice.
What I don't want to write is that after she went to bed and I went down to the basement where my room is, I cried. I cry sometimes. It's a very rare thing for me to cry in front of people but if I wanted to I could cry every night and no one but God would know, unless I cried loudly, which I wouldn't. And I don't cry every night, it's even pretty rare a thing for me to cry just in my room by myself. So I let God in on how I was feeling while looking unsuccessfully for the book. It was the easiest way to express myself.
Let's see what was I even crying anyways... Something about just wishing I had someone to talk to. I praying and saying things like I'll call out to Saskatchewan if it means having someone to talk to (I was thinking of my Lisa who's out there and I've been keeping in touch with but I don't have her current phone number). I just want someone to dig into me, to really know me. And then I was thinking of all the things I'd like to one day see with the youth group while glancing over all of my dad's books on the shelves of the office. I cried some more about how all of my passions don't even matter to me when I don't feel loved. I'd say that for me, I mean I guess if I were to read the book I would have a better idea, but I think for me the two love languages that are most prominent for me are gifts, and quality time. But mostly gifts.
I ended up getting distracted because I found some random Manga Messiah cartooned version of the Bible and started reading it. Can you say ADD? I don't even know where it came from but it was a great way for me to get my mind off the topic! And now I'm here, tired, telling you people.
Steph <3
That's not why I came on though, I don't care about missing a day. I just love blogging.
So quick summary of my day. Most of the day I've been working pretty hard on an ISU for English that I honestly haven't done much work on until today. I got distracted later on but that's not the point.
I have this friend of mine named Alex who's in my English class. She went to Africa too, but she was on the rural team, not the urban team like me. We were prayer partners through it all. I called her today to ask her how to spell my English teacher's last name for the essay. She doesn't come out to youth very often anymore, hardly ever. I invited her to our small group like a month back, which she went to last year and the reason she gave me for not coming out to youth anymore was because she kinda felt like everybody already has their own group of friends and so on. It breaks my heart a little. It doesn't make sense to me though because everyone loves her and if she had been coming out I think she could have had a really good influence on two girls in particular who were on her Africa team. I don't even know where they're at now... I asked her how she was doing and she let me pray with her just over the phone. She was slightly hesitant, like ughh... ok. I really need to be praying for her again more often.
So now I'll tell you about the latter part of my day. A short period of time ago, possibly 2ish hours ago I read Casey's most recent blog, titled Blessed. I haven't commented on it yet, but I'll get to it. She made indirect reference to the 5 languages of love, good books I've heard but I've never actually read them myself. I went upstairs to ask my dad about it because I thought he had it. Apparently he does have it but he was working and didn't have time to look for it.
I went down stairs to see what my mom was doing. Talking on the phone, typical. She was talking with my Gramma for soo long while watching the news. I waited the whole time for her to talk to me but by the time she got off it, it was too late to talk. (sigh) It upsets me the way she spent so long talking with her mom but hardly said anything to me. I'm not that interested in the news... if I wait that long I probably want something. Some attention might be nice.
What I don't want to write is that after she went to bed and I went down to the basement where my room is, I cried. I cry sometimes. It's a very rare thing for me to cry in front of people but if I wanted to I could cry every night and no one but God would know, unless I cried loudly, which I wouldn't. And I don't cry every night, it's even pretty rare a thing for me to cry just in my room by myself. So I let God in on how I was feeling while looking unsuccessfully for the book. It was the easiest way to express myself.
Let's see what was I even crying anyways... Something about just wishing I had someone to talk to. I praying and saying things like I'll call out to Saskatchewan if it means having someone to talk to (I was thinking of my Lisa who's out there and I've been keeping in touch with but I don't have her current phone number). I just want someone to dig into me, to really know me. And then I was thinking of all the things I'd like to one day see with the youth group while glancing over all of my dad's books on the shelves of the office. I cried some more about how all of my passions don't even matter to me when I don't feel loved. I'd say that for me, I mean I guess if I were to read the book I would have a better idea, but I think for me the two love languages that are most prominent for me are gifts, and quality time. But mostly gifts.
I ended up getting distracted because I found some random Manga Messiah cartooned version of the Bible and started reading it. Can you say ADD? I don't even know where it came from but it was a great way for me to get my mind off the topic! And now I'm here, tired, telling you people.
Steph <3
Friday, May 23, 2008
Canoe Trip Prayer Request
I'd just like to quickly ask you guys if you could be praying for some discernment for me. I've got a second cousin coming over from Zimbabwe this summer for a while and the week I could get to see her is the week that my youth group has our annual canoe trip.
In normal circumstances, I'd easily choose to see my cousin who I haven't seen since I was like 6, but here's the problem this is my last year of canoe trip before having to move on to C&C the following year.
The thing is I was talking to my pastor today and from what I got out of it, it sounds like it's going to be a pretty fundamental trip like a good starting stone for the group's next year. And I'm guessing that the youth leadership's going to be pretty well established by the end of it, which I really want to be a bigger part of. I wanna step up and do a bit more... just be more involved with the way things go, y'know. It's not something I really want to miss out on, plus the canoe trip is great fun.
Thanks guys I really appreciate it!
In normal circumstances, I'd easily choose to see my cousin who I haven't seen since I was like 6, but here's the problem this is my last year of canoe trip before having to move on to C&C the following year.
The thing is I was talking to my pastor today and from what I got out of it, it sounds like it's going to be a pretty fundamental trip like a good starting stone for the group's next year. And I'm guessing that the youth leadership's going to be pretty well established by the end of it, which I really want to be a bigger part of. I wanna step up and do a bit more... just be more involved with the way things go, y'know. It's not something I really want to miss out on, plus the canoe trip is great fun.
Thanks guys I really appreciate it!
Today's Stuff
I just finished reading Zechariah. This past March a few of my friends went to Israel to check out the holy land, they're actually some of the leadership from the team of people I'm going to Thunderbay with.
Anyways, they came back with some cool stories and they were talking about the Mount of Olives. They told us of how when Jesus comes back he'll stand up top and it'll split, East to West, half of it moving North and the other South. And I think it may be the Muslims who own land on the one side of it where Jesus will walk. So what they've done, even though they don't believe in the Bible or in Jewish Law, they've built a wall all the way along the eastern side and also have a cemetery because Jewish prophets aren't allowed to walk along through cemeteries.
But then this is what I've heard but haven't actually looked into further, that a fault line has recently been found right through the mountain! Pretty much, the Bible is truth and all creation supports it. It's just that logical. I said all that because I found where all that is found in the Bible: Zachariah 14:4.
"On that day his feet will stand on the Mount of Olives, east of Jerusalem, and the Mount of Olives will be split in two from east to west, forming a great valley, with half of the mountain moving north and half moving south."
The best verse of the chapter is this though, Zachariah 14:9.
"The LORD will be king over the whole earth. On that day there will be one LORD, and his name the only name."
Other things, today I've been listening to music and understanding it more than I usually do. Don't know if you know the song Leaving 99 by Audio Adrenaline, but I've never known what it's all about before today and it made no sense. It's about Leaving the 99 sheep for the one lost sheep.
My brother's birthday party is tonight but his actually birthday is next Friday. It seems like he's really getting bigger lately. Both more mature and taller. The good thing is that I can still beat him when we wrestle... for now. He's turning 11, yeah I know, what a poop. I love that kid so much!
Anyways, they came back with some cool stories and they were talking about the Mount of Olives. They told us of how when Jesus comes back he'll stand up top and it'll split, East to West, half of it moving North and the other South. And I think it may be the Muslims who own land on the one side of it where Jesus will walk. So what they've done, even though they don't believe in the Bible or in Jewish Law, they've built a wall all the way along the eastern side and also have a cemetery because Jewish prophets aren't allowed to walk along through cemeteries.
But then this is what I've heard but haven't actually looked into further, that a fault line has recently been found right through the mountain! Pretty much, the Bible is truth and all creation supports it. It's just that logical. I said all that because I found where all that is found in the Bible: Zachariah 14:4.
"On that day his feet will stand on the Mount of Olives, east of Jerusalem, and the Mount of Olives will be split in two from east to west, forming a great valley, with half of the mountain moving north and half moving south."
The best verse of the chapter is this though, Zachariah 14:9.
"The LORD will be king over the whole earth. On that day there will be one LORD, and his name the only name."
Other things, today I've been listening to music and understanding it more than I usually do. Don't know if you know the song Leaving 99 by Audio Adrenaline, but I've never known what it's all about before today and it made no sense. It's about Leaving the 99 sheep for the one lost sheep.
My brother's birthday party is tonight but his actually birthday is next Friday. It seems like he's really getting bigger lately. Both more mature and taller. The good thing is that I can still beat him when we wrestle... for now. He's turning 11, yeah I know, what a poop. I love that kid so much!
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Science Olympics
I just got back from my science olympic thing and maybe you were wondering how it went.
It was fun. I woke up at 5:30 this morning. There were three events: bio, chem, and physics. They were all grade 12 level, which made it somewhat challenging. For the chemistry event no one had a clue what to in my group so we just spent an hour mixing different chemicals together.
The whole thing was survival themed. The physics event was my favourite, we had to make a catapult/launch thing with elastics and a funnel. I think we were supposed to use equations to get the ball a certain distance but we only did trial & error. That's basically everything important.
Oh, my friend Eden (in between friend and acquaintance), she was talking to this guy named Patrick, who's really into music, about Hillsong. That's cool but the one thing that was on my mind the whole time because they were talking for a while, was that they only talked about Hillsong and never once mentioned Jesus who is the center of all the praise that Hillsong sings... Just my thoughts.
yggiC
It was fun. I woke up at 5:30 this morning. There were three events: bio, chem, and physics. They were all grade 12 level, which made it somewhat challenging. For the chemistry event no one had a clue what to in my group so we just spent an hour mixing different chemicals together.
The whole thing was survival themed. The physics event was my favourite, we had to make a catapult/launch thing with elastics and a funnel. I think we were supposed to use equations to get the ball a certain distance but we only did trial & error. That's basically everything important.
Oh, my friend Eden (in between friend and acquaintance), she was talking to this guy named Patrick, who's really into music, about Hillsong. That's cool but the one thing that was on my mind the whole time because they were talking for a while, was that they only talked about Hillsong and never once mentioned Jesus who is the center of all the praise that Hillsong sings... Just my thoughts.
yggiC
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
A Little More Than Basics
God blew my mind again today and I don't know why. I love it when these kinds of things happen. Back in April I wote an opinion paper for Bio the night before it was due. I got it back today and I got a 95 on it and 100 for communication! My teacher's not an easy marker either, on the contrary. My friends got like 70s and 75s on it.
I'm not trying to brag or anything either. I wonder if anyone saw my face in my physics class next period. I was kind of in shock and I literally got a few chills just at the thought of how good God is. I really don't know why I got that mark. I mean right now I feel like I'm falling behind and just doing the basics, but God really surprised me with that one! :D
I'm not trying to brag or anything either. I wonder if anyone saw my face in my physics class next period. I was kind of in shock and I literally got a few chills just at the thought of how good God is. I really don't know why I got that mark. I mean right now I feel like I'm falling behind and just doing the basics, but God really surprised me with that one! :D
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Missing One?
I found this funny when I was reading my Bible today.
Ezra 1:9-10
9 This was the inventory:
gold dishes 30
silver dishes 1,000
silver pans 29
10 gold bowls 30
matching silver bowls 410
other articles 1,000
Looks like someone forgot a silver pan when the counting was going on...
Ezra 1:9-10
9 This was the inventory:
gold dishes 30
silver dishes 1,000
silver pans 29
10 gold bowls 30
matching silver bowls 410
other articles 1,000
Looks like someone forgot a silver pan when the counting was going on...
A Blessing
Whoo! Today, I'm just on a high. (No drugs, don't worry).
I really meant to start out by saying God is good! Today's been just like that day for when Casey she got a call from H.A. It's just been a real blessing.
Today I was chosen by my Physics teacher to go to some science olympics thing this Thursday, along with another really smart student. I was really surprised because I'm not one the smartest of the people in my class. I would like to think I'm up there, but not top. Maybe I got brownie points for being honest. I don't know.
Then, I mentioned in the 100 things blog that I usually spend my lunches playing hacki sack with some of my guy friends, but today we randomly started to walk and talk after eating. While walking and talking I met up with one of my friends named Kayla. Pretty awesome girl, she's a young Christian that I'm excited for.
I think she was talking with some guy I just met today about Jesus, which is obviously great. His name's Kurt or Curt or something. He believes in evolution and I got to talk with him a bit. We just encouraged him to ask questions and if he ever wanted to he could talk to my pastor(Chad) or her pastor(Matt).
Yeah, so I'm definitely excited about her. I want to talk to her more and pray with her more.
K, that's all! I was planning on not even coming on here because I've been on here way too much lately, but I really couldn't help writing about this! Now I need to go draw some scientific drawing of pigs so I can watch A.I. later. I hope Archuleta wins!
I really meant to start out by saying God is good! Today's been just like that day for when Casey she got a call from H.A. It's just been a real blessing.
Today I was chosen by my Physics teacher to go to some science olympics thing this Thursday, along with another really smart student. I was really surprised because I'm not one the smartest of the people in my class. I would like to think I'm up there, but not top. Maybe I got brownie points for being honest. I don't know.
Then, I mentioned in the 100 things blog that I usually spend my lunches playing hacki sack with some of my guy friends, but today we randomly started to walk and talk after eating. While walking and talking I met up with one of my friends named Kayla. Pretty awesome girl, she's a young Christian that I'm excited for.
I think she was talking with some guy I just met today about Jesus, which is obviously great. His name's Kurt or Curt or something. He believes in evolution and I got to talk with him a bit. We just encouraged him to ask questions and if he ever wanted to he could talk to my pastor(Chad) or her pastor(Matt).
Yeah, so I'm definitely excited about her. I want to talk to her more and pray with her more.
K, that's all! I was planning on not even coming on here because I've been on here way too much lately, but I really couldn't help writing about this! Now I need to go draw some scientific drawing of pigs so I can watch A.I. later. I hope Archuleta wins!
Monday, May 19, 2008
When She Cries - The Story of my 16th Bday
I can hear fireworks going off right now, and apparently I'm not watching them... I'm just really feeling like blogging right now. I don't even have anything to write about. So I'm going to tell you a little story from my life that I gave you a heads up for a while back. I'm gonna tell you about the song When She Cries by Britt Nicole and how it could almost be written about me.
It's kind of a sad story, I mean how much can you expect from a song titled When She Cries. Either way, it doesn't matter because I'm in a good mood. I'm only making mention of that because ostensibly my moods come off quite easily. (I used a big word).
When I first heard this song the first thing that caught my attention was the sixteenth birthday part because my sweet sixteen wasn't all that I had expected it to be. When she sings about bruises and bleeding they would be more like emotional scars for me. Around that time I was still trying to figure out who I was and asking things about my what my purpose was.
I'm going to type the journal of my birthday because I just read it over and it's very honest to what happened that day. Journaling was I how made myself stop crying because it made think about it all. That night was probably the most and hardest I've ever cried. Background info before you read it, it was three days before my trip to Malawi. I make reference once in my journal to Morgan but I didn't really know her at the time. My birthday was the commissioning Sunday and it was a pretty big deal for the trip and everything. Sometimes when people have their birthdays on Sundays people take them out for lunch, that didn't happen for me. I did have extra family though and also I took a Malaria pill that day, so it may have caused additional mood swing.
Here it is (June 24, 2007):
I don't know how to start this off any other way but to say that I'm writing this to Jesus. This might be a few pages long, but I need to get everything I'm feeling out.
So today's my 16th birthday, right? Big party, this is supposed to be a really special birthday. And today's the Sunday before the Malawi team and I leave to go to Malawi. We leave in three days and this Sunday is the commissioning Sunday (today).
I must be depressed or something. I try to be such a good friend to everybody I know and I try to put time and effort into the things I do, make, give, you name it, whatever for my friends. I get a good feeling when I do nice things for other people and I enjoy doing nice things for other people.
My hope, however, is that people will give me some kind of attention in return, sooner or later. It's really hard for me to write this because I want to write exactly what I'm feeling but I don't want to make what I'm writing seem bigger or smaller, more or less, important than what I'm going through.
I crave attention. I love attention but I don't pursue it and I don't know how to react to it when I get it.
I'm confused about what I really want to write. I want to write about how I felt today and everything I was crying about earlier. I guess I'll do both.
Basically, today wasn't everything I hoped it would be, and I'm kind of disappointed right now. I wanted attention that I didn't get, more people remembering my birthday, maybe even a couple people making me something.
Jesus, I want to thank you for Christine, who I know loves me, who I honestly don't show my appreciation for enough, and who at least put an effort into remembering my birthday. I do love her.
I think that the biggest, or at least one of the biggest downers was that, after a long day of everything, when I finally got to open my long-awaited gifts what I got, not that I have any right to be complaining, was a nalgene bottle and batteries. Doesn't that say "Sweet Sixteen"?
Okay, so I won't be all negative about today, I mean it's only one day, and it wasn't completely rotten. I think that when you cry all your problems get blown out of proportion. But it leaves me wondering, because I really don't know, just how big my problems are when they're seen in proper perspective... my tears must seem so huge to my Heavenly Father, (well I guess I should say "You" because I'm writing this to You, Jesus, but I don't think all the "You"'s would make sense if I did), who loves me so much He gave His Son to die for me, which is crazy.
I want to write about my favourite part of my day but I've got another thought on this page that I need to write. Here it is, I'll leave this thought on the page to let simmer and I hope I get the answer someday: If JESUS thought I was worth enough to die for, how come so few people, including myself, find it hard to see my worth? I want to know my worth and God's perfect will for my life specifically. I would love to have that question answered.
My favourite part of my day was going on a bike ride with my brother and my dad. We ate freezies together that we bought on our way. We just sat and ate the freezies and they were good. Thanks for my dad Jesus. I love him. So many people don't have their dads and I just thank You that I have my dad.
And what possibly made my day is that Morgan happened to ride by on her bike just as we were eating our freezies.
Morgan's such a unique kid Jesus, and I want to thank you that I'm going to Africa with her. I don't think she lives with her dad but I want to thank You that her and I, we both know that You're big enough to provide and be everything we need.
What a great sentence that last one was to lead in to the last thing I want to write! Please teach everyone on our team both Rural & Urban, but specifically Urban, because that means me (and Morgan too), YOUR BIGNESS.
Mr. Milne says You're gonna blow my mind and I know he's telling me the truth. And I'm excited for it. Honestly, I'm a bit nervous for everything, but way more excited!
Help me to rely on You primarily while I'm there (and for the rest of my life) and also my brothers and sisters in You.
Thanks for Your love in my life Jesus, goodnight [heart drawn on page]
Steph
______________________
If something's not clear or I missed something feel free to ask. If I were to think about that night for too long I might cry again even.
It's kind of a sad story, I mean how much can you expect from a song titled When She Cries. Either way, it doesn't matter because I'm in a good mood. I'm only making mention of that because ostensibly my moods come off quite easily. (I used a big word).
When I first heard this song the first thing that caught my attention was the sixteenth birthday part because my sweet sixteen wasn't all that I had expected it to be. When she sings about bruises and bleeding they would be more like emotional scars for me. Around that time I was still trying to figure out who I was and asking things about my what my purpose was.
I'm going to type the journal of my birthday because I just read it over and it's very honest to what happened that day. Journaling was I how made myself stop crying because it made think about it all. That night was probably the most and hardest I've ever cried. Background info before you read it, it was three days before my trip to Malawi. I make reference once in my journal to Morgan but I didn't really know her at the time. My birthday was the commissioning Sunday and it was a pretty big deal for the trip and everything. Sometimes when people have their birthdays on Sundays people take them out for lunch, that didn't happen for me. I did have extra family though and also I took a Malaria pill that day, so it may have caused additional mood swing.
Here it is (June 24, 2007):
I don't know how to start this off any other way but to say that I'm writing this to Jesus. This might be a few pages long, but I need to get everything I'm feeling out.
So today's my 16th birthday, right? Big party, this is supposed to be a really special birthday. And today's the Sunday before the Malawi team and I leave to go to Malawi. We leave in three days and this Sunday is the commissioning Sunday (today).
I must be depressed or something. I try to be such a good friend to everybody I know and I try to put time and effort into the things I do, make, give, you name it, whatever for my friends. I get a good feeling when I do nice things for other people and I enjoy doing nice things for other people.
My hope, however, is that people will give me some kind of attention in return, sooner or later. It's really hard for me to write this because I want to write exactly what I'm feeling but I don't want to make what I'm writing seem bigger or smaller, more or less, important than what I'm going through.
I crave attention. I love attention but I don't pursue it and I don't know how to react to it when I get it.
I'm confused about what I really want to write. I want to write about how I felt today and everything I was crying about earlier. I guess I'll do both.
Basically, today wasn't everything I hoped it would be, and I'm kind of disappointed right now. I wanted attention that I didn't get, more people remembering my birthday, maybe even a couple people making me something.
Jesus, I want to thank you for Christine, who I know loves me, who I honestly don't show my appreciation for enough, and who at least put an effort into remembering my birthday. I do love her.
I think that the biggest, or at least one of the biggest downers was that, after a long day of everything, when I finally got to open my long-awaited gifts what I got, not that I have any right to be complaining, was a nalgene bottle and batteries. Doesn't that say "Sweet Sixteen"?
Okay, so I won't be all negative about today, I mean it's only one day, and it wasn't completely rotten. I think that when you cry all your problems get blown out of proportion. But it leaves me wondering, because I really don't know, just how big my problems are when they're seen in proper perspective... my tears must seem so huge to my Heavenly Father, (well I guess I should say "You" because I'm writing this to You, Jesus, but I don't think all the "You"'s would make sense if I did), who loves me so much He gave His Son to die for me, which is crazy.
I want to write about my favourite part of my day but I've got another thought on this page that I need to write. Here it is, I'll leave this thought on the page to let simmer and I hope I get the answer someday: If JESUS thought I was worth enough to die for, how come so few people, including myself, find it hard to see my worth? I want to know my worth and God's perfect will for my life specifically. I would love to have that question answered.
My favourite part of my day was going on a bike ride with my brother and my dad. We ate freezies together that we bought on our way. We just sat and ate the freezies and they were good. Thanks for my dad Jesus. I love him. So many people don't have their dads and I just thank You that I have my dad.
And what possibly made my day is that Morgan happened to ride by on her bike just as we were eating our freezies.
Morgan's such a unique kid Jesus, and I want to thank you that I'm going to Africa with her. I don't think she lives with her dad but I want to thank You that her and I, we both know that You're big enough to provide and be everything we need.
What a great sentence that last one was to lead in to the last thing I want to write! Please teach everyone on our team both Rural & Urban, but specifically Urban, because that means me (and Morgan too), YOUR BIGNESS.
Mr. Milne says You're gonna blow my mind and I know he's telling me the truth. And I'm excited for it. Honestly, I'm a bit nervous for everything, but way more excited!
Help me to rely on You primarily while I'm there (and for the rest of my life) and also my brothers and sisters in You.
Thanks for Your love in my life Jesus, goodnight [heart drawn on page]
Steph
______________________
If something's not clear or I missed something feel free to ask. If I were to think about that night for too long I might cry again even.
Random News
How's everyone's May-Two-Four going? You might not have enjoyed my last post, but I honestly wasn't enjoying life yesterday. Sorry about that. Everybody seemed to like my random facts post so maybe one day I'll put up an additional 50 (well see... :S). It was really interesting to see the similarities. Seems like most of us sleep with some kind of stuffed animal. And now the rest of want to, to be part of the "club". Kidding :D.
My parents left for their anniversary today. Possibly their 20th I think. They were married in the summer but there's cheaper deals this time of year. My dad's parents are watching us for the next few days. Today I was showing my Nana how to use youtube and she already had facebook but I also showed her how to put a picture up and stuff. That was fun.
Other fun news, Hope, one of my best friend's niece was born yesterday. Her name is Vesper Lily Dawn. Apparently she's cute but I haven't seen her.
I meant to mention last Thursday that there's another girl that came out to my small group. Her name's Sam and she's not a Christian (yet). I told her to come back this week and she said she would. That's exciting! Keep praying for that group! I love it.
My parents left for their anniversary today. Possibly their 20th I think. They were married in the summer but there's cheaper deals this time of year. My dad's parents are watching us for the next few days. Today I was showing my Nana how to use youtube and she already had facebook but I also showed her how to put a picture up and stuff. That was fun.
Other fun news, Hope, one of my best friend's niece was born yesterday. Her name is Vesper Lily Dawn. Apparently she's cute but I haven't seen her.
I meant to mention last Thursday that there's another girl that came out to my small group. Her name's Sam and she's not a Christian (yet). I told her to come back this week and she said she would. That's exciting! Keep praying for that group! I love it.
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Looking for a Better Day
I don't really care if you read my last post or not. They're random facts and you'll probably learn something about me because of it but it doesn't show my heart on anything so it has no real purpose for this blog. Right now I don't even know how I feel. It's not a good feeling though. I'm sad.
This morning was good... I mean I was loving the worship. I was thinking about everything I was singing, which I don't always do.
But from there my whole day's been going downhill. It's my dad's 52nd birthday today and I haven't even seen him yet because he had to get up early to go to his church.
Morgan wasn't at church today, and hasn't been for the last two weeks either. I was praying that both her and her mom be there today. I asked someone about her and apparently she was working. Also I found out that she's working two jobs now. I don't know, I'm just missing her because I haven't seen in a long time. I think the last real time was the rugby game. I'd like to call her sometime.
I have homework to do but I feel like there's no purpose to it except to get a good grade. I'll do the work but there's just nothing there for me. Nothing to motivate me.
One thing I caught myself enjoying today though, was when I was in my parents' room and I was looking through some papers that looked they were ripped from a magazine. They were about youth ministry. Not all of it was that interesting but there were somethings that seemed like cool ideas. And there's just so much you can do with a youth group. Maybe I was almost excited. Maybe after I'm done high school I'll take a year off, get a job and work with the church with the youth.
I think I may have mentioned once either here or as a comment elsewhere, that some of the things God's shown me is unity in the church, I still have a passion for missions, and now this thing for broken teens is developing. And what's funny is that all of these things can be worked together through youth ministry. But we'll see, and I'll be praying about that for sure.
At my church there's this group of people called the servant's board, basically the people who are supposed to be leaders in the youth group. I'm part of it and meetings are pretty rare. All we basically ever do is plan events but I think I might just email my pastor and ask him when the next one is. I'd love to just talk about things we could do to make the youth better.
I'm still in kind of in a bummed out mood though. And I need to be spending more time in the Word. I've been putting it off a bit, so that's probably the reason for this mood.
We'll I guess I've made a list for myself.
-email the pastor
-read my Bible
-call Morgan
That'll keep me busy for a while and then if I get really bored I'll do some school work. See ya.
This morning was good... I mean I was loving the worship. I was thinking about everything I was singing, which I don't always do.
But from there my whole day's been going downhill. It's my dad's 52nd birthday today and I haven't even seen him yet because he had to get up early to go to his church.
Morgan wasn't at church today, and hasn't been for the last two weeks either. I was praying that both her and her mom be there today. I asked someone about her and apparently she was working. Also I found out that she's working two jobs now. I don't know, I'm just missing her because I haven't seen in a long time. I think the last real time was the rugby game. I'd like to call her sometime.
I have homework to do but I feel like there's no purpose to it except to get a good grade. I'll do the work but there's just nothing there for me. Nothing to motivate me.
One thing I caught myself enjoying today though, was when I was in my parents' room and I was looking through some papers that looked they were ripped from a magazine. They were about youth ministry. Not all of it was that interesting but there were somethings that seemed like cool ideas. And there's just so much you can do with a youth group. Maybe I was almost excited. Maybe after I'm done high school I'll take a year off, get a job and work with the church with the youth.
I think I may have mentioned once either here or as a comment elsewhere, that some of the things God's shown me is unity in the church, I still have a passion for missions, and now this thing for broken teens is developing. And what's funny is that all of these things can be worked together through youth ministry. But we'll see, and I'll be praying about that for sure.
At my church there's this group of people called the servant's board, basically the people who are supposed to be leaders in the youth group. I'm part of it and meetings are pretty rare. All we basically ever do is plan events but I think I might just email my pastor and ask him when the next one is. I'd love to just talk about things we could do to make the youth better.
I'm still in kind of in a bummed out mood though. And I need to be spending more time in the Word. I've been putting it off a bit, so that's probably the reason for this mood.
We'll I guess I've made a list for myself.
-email the pastor
-read my Bible
-call Morgan
That'll keep me busy for a while and then if I get really bored I'll do some school work. See ya.
Saturday, May 17, 2008
100 Things About Me
A few other bloggers have inspired me to write this. Basically a list of things that you could know but didn't (or did) pick up or just don't know. I'll use numbers. I think it would be cool if you guys could point out specific ones that either are completely true or false of you. There won't be any particular order. Now let's see how far I get.
1. My real name isn't a secret if you read my blogs.
2. I would have loved to take diving lessons when I was younger.
3. I passed all of my swimming lessons until level 9 when I quit.
4. One year I took swimming lessons with a good friend of mine named Katie, who I didn't know at the time.
5. Last year, every Friday after school girls would go to Katie's house to talk and pray. It was called VENT (Valuing Each others Needs Together). I really missed it this year when she left to go to school in New Brunswick.
6. I have no idea what I'm going to do with my life after high school.
7. I also don't know exactly how tall I am. Maybe 5'2 or 3". I'm a shortie and I think it's cute.
8. I have been told that my memory is like a steel trap. I try to remember everything that happens in my life and I remember the first time I realized I couldn't remember everything. I was shocked. (still pretty young at that time)
9. I wish I were closer to more people.
10. I love Jesus! I want to love and know him more. I think he is beautiful in every way. And God is doing good things in me and I'm pretty he's using me too.
11. Purple is and always has been my all-time favourite colour.
12. Today I slept for most of the day, which isn't usual. I hope I can get some sleep tonight.
13. I really am quite the night owl but I wish I weren't.
14. I went to Malawi, Africa this past summer on a missions trip. You can read more about that in my previous posts if you haven't already.
15. I was hurt emotionally in Africa but things have changed since then.
16. In the plane, I was completely fascinated and captivated by the sky, and by God's beauty. When I got a window seat I took so many pictures I made a whole album on Facebook of my shots.
17. My favourite smell in all the world is the smell of Africa. If the possibility of going back were at hand right now, it would be a really nice bonus if not a big pull factor.
18. I love art and wouldn't be myself without it. I try to be good at graffiti.
19. I need a new purity ring.
20. The song Dive by Steven Curtis Chapman is my all-time favourite song.
21. My least favourite type of music is country.
22. I pick my nose sometimes. What are you gonna do?
23. I live in Canada and wouldn't doubt that I have a Canadian accent. I'm more southern then Sam and Casey.
24. I can't vote for American Idol, which is one of my favourite shows. If you live in the U.S., I've said this before but please vote for Archuleta, for me. If he doesn't win I'm blaming you guys.
25. I wasn't born in Canada but in Belgium because my parents were missionaries.
26. My parents are still together and I'm really thankful for that. I would probably die if that changed, but not literally because God would help me through it. I would NEVER want that to happen, ever.
27. My favourite chapter in the Bible is Matthew 6.
28. I haven't read the whole Bible yet but I'm working on it. I'll be done by the end of August.
29. Beth Moore is one of my favourite speakers.
30. I'm realizing this takes a lot of time to write.
31. From senior kindergarten to gr8 I was in French immersion.
32. I quit afterwards because I didn't have any good friends at that school and now I'm slowly forgetting the language.
33. I wish I had a Macbook.
34. I have a thing for looking at people's fingers and toes and the shape of their nails.
35. I did an art-a-thon earlier this year, and did art for 24 hours. I didn't enjoy it that much because of my partner.
36. The highlights of it were that I told my friend Natalie that she has really nice toes and that I loved them. That's kinda been a joke since then.
37. The other highlight was delivering cookies in the middle of the night.
38. I didn't take a shower today and I feel gross.
39. I always tap on things when I listen to music and one time I was drumming on my lamp and the glass broke. Now it's taped together and no one really knows that that happened.
40. I am a virgin and intend to keep it that way until my wedding night.
41. I love hearing testimonies, I retell tell all my favourite ones over time.
42. I've seen a video of an ex-porn star's testimony but it's too detailed to retell. Her name is Shelly Lubben, look her up.
43. Math is one of my favourite subjects and I'm taking all three next year.
44. Biology fascinates me and I wish I had taken chemistry this year.
45. Last semester, I played the bass in my music class but skipped out on both the public performance days because I was too worried I would be the only bassist there.
46. I have no allergies.
47. I don't wear glasses or contacts and have never had anything else done to my eyes. In other words, I don't have eye problems.
48. I have brown hair and brown eyes.
49. My dad is left handed.
50. I wish I were ambidextrous. However, I already use the mouse with my left hand, I play sports like hockey, baseball, golf in the left handed position, and I skateboard goofy.
51. I'm single and I like it that way.
52. Natasha Bedingfield is my favourite non-Christian singer.
53. It's 2:45 in the morning, but I'm not tired because I slept all day.
54. I've tried and failed to beat box.
55. Hannah Montana is an awesome show that makes me laugh.
56. I play hacki sack at lunch almost everyday.
57. I danced with African children to crazy frog music and had a lot of fun.
58. Settlers of Catan and Cities and knights are the best games ever. (in my opinion)
59. I have never been drunk and have never had any alcoholic drinks.
60. I have a doll named Linda.
61. I sleep with a purple teddy bear named Plum every night, and not ashamed at all to say it.
62. I have a problem with procrastination.
63. My blogspot is a secret that I'm glad you all know about.
64. When I was in grades 7 & 8 I had really short hair and was mistaken for a boy several times. So I'm never going back to that.
65. If I could change one thing about my appearance for a period of time without getting any flack for it I would love to shave my head.
67. I love the so called "emo" type of people.
68. I put quotations on 'emo' because I think that by using a word like that stereotypes and I try not to do that.
69. I used to go to Awanas and I won three trophies from the wooden car grand prix's.
70. My uncle will be starting a job as professor of web design at the university of Guelph-Humber soon.
71. I am the oldest of three children.
72. I'm 16 and my birthday is June 24.
73. My sister's name is Suzanne and she is 15. She's two years younger than me (keep in mind I'm turning 17).
74. My brother's name is Michael and he is 10, he's turning 11 at the end of the month. (Guitar Hero 3!)
75. It blew my mind when I found out that there was a single couple with 17 kids (going on 18). The Duggar family, they're somewhat famous.
76. I'm not afraid of heights. I've jumped off a 30ft diving tower 7 times before.
77. I love subs from Subway.
78. I used to really like Pokémon.
79. I hate anime drawings because I think they're unoriginal.
80. All four of my grandparents are still alive and well.
81. I've never felt the pain of having someone I love die.
82. I'm pretty good with an etch-a-sketch.
83. I'm a weirdo.
84. Neither of my parents were born in Canada or the States.
85. One of my best friends went to the Nationals for doing improv skits.
86. My mom's terrified of butterflies.
87. I used to always go to the science center on March breaks when I was younger.
88. I really want to go to China one day, hopefully on a missions trip.
89. I ate these nasty dried fish called kapenta in Africa.
90. I've ate fish food more recently than that as part of a challenge thinking that nothing could be more gross than kapenta... but I was wrong.
91. I used to read a lot of Bernstein Bears books.
92. I remember the shows like Bobby's World, Ned the Newt, Woody the Woodpecker and Rupert.
93. I also vaguely remember an even older show called What-A-Mess that no one else seems to remember. Do you guys know of it?
94. One time my mom was pouring hot water into my instant porridge and missed. I got burnt but you'd never be able to tell now.
95. I don't mean to offend anyone but I'm not really a cat person.
96. I love hugs.
97. I don't wear makeup, only coverup. Although, I don't have a problem with makeup, only excessive makeup.
98. My personal Bible right now is in the Message version, and I love it.
99. The fact that I said "right now" in the last point means that I have more than one Bible and therefore more than I need.
100. And I'm glad to be done. Enough about me, what's going on in your lives?
1. My real name isn't a secret if you read my blogs.
2. I would have loved to take diving lessons when I was younger.
3. I passed all of my swimming lessons until level 9 when I quit.
4. One year I took swimming lessons with a good friend of mine named Katie, who I didn't know at the time.
5. Last year, every Friday after school girls would go to Katie's house to talk and pray. It was called VENT (Valuing Each others Needs Together). I really missed it this year when she left to go to school in New Brunswick.
6. I have no idea what I'm going to do with my life after high school.
7. I also don't know exactly how tall I am. Maybe 5'2 or 3". I'm a shortie and I think it's cute.
8. I have been told that my memory is like a steel trap. I try to remember everything that happens in my life and I remember the first time I realized I couldn't remember everything. I was shocked. (still pretty young at that time)
9. I wish I were closer to more people.
10. I love Jesus! I want to love and know him more. I think he is beautiful in every way. And God is doing good things in me and I'm pretty he's using me too.
11. Purple is and always has been my all-time favourite colour.
12. Today I slept for most of the day, which isn't usual. I hope I can get some sleep tonight.
13. I really am quite the night owl but I wish I weren't.
14. I went to Malawi, Africa this past summer on a missions trip. You can read more about that in my previous posts if you haven't already.
15. I was hurt emotionally in Africa but things have changed since then.
16. In the plane, I was completely fascinated and captivated by the sky, and by God's beauty. When I got a window seat I took so many pictures I made a whole album on Facebook of my shots.
17. My favourite smell in all the world is the smell of Africa. If the possibility of going back were at hand right now, it would be a really nice bonus if not a big pull factor.
18. I love art and wouldn't be myself without it. I try to be good at graffiti.
19. I need a new purity ring.
20. The song Dive by Steven Curtis Chapman is my all-time favourite song.
21. My least favourite type of music is country.
22. I pick my nose sometimes. What are you gonna do?
23. I live in Canada and wouldn't doubt that I have a Canadian accent. I'm more southern then Sam and Casey.
24. I can't vote for American Idol, which is one of my favourite shows. If you live in the U.S., I've said this before but please vote for Archuleta, for me. If he doesn't win I'm blaming you guys.
25. I wasn't born in Canada but in Belgium because my parents were missionaries.
26. My parents are still together and I'm really thankful for that. I would probably die if that changed, but not literally because God would help me through it. I would NEVER want that to happen, ever.
27. My favourite chapter in the Bible is Matthew 6.
28. I haven't read the whole Bible yet but I'm working on it. I'll be done by the end of August.
29. Beth Moore is one of my favourite speakers.
30. I'm realizing this takes a lot of time to write.
31. From senior kindergarten to gr8 I was in French immersion.
32. I quit afterwards because I didn't have any good friends at that school and now I'm slowly forgetting the language.
33. I wish I had a Macbook.
34. I have a thing for looking at people's fingers and toes and the shape of their nails.
35. I did an art-a-thon earlier this year, and did art for 24 hours. I didn't enjoy it that much because of my partner.
36. The highlights of it were that I told my friend Natalie that she has really nice toes and that I loved them. That's kinda been a joke since then.
37. The other highlight was delivering cookies in the middle of the night.
38. I didn't take a shower today and I feel gross.
39. I always tap on things when I listen to music and one time I was drumming on my lamp and the glass broke. Now it's taped together and no one really knows that that happened.
40. I am a virgin and intend to keep it that way until my wedding night.
41. I love hearing testimonies, I retell tell all my favourite ones over time.
42. I've seen a video of an ex-porn star's testimony but it's too detailed to retell. Her name is Shelly Lubben, look her up.
43. Math is one of my favourite subjects and I'm taking all three next year.
44. Biology fascinates me and I wish I had taken chemistry this year.
45. Last semester, I played the bass in my music class but skipped out on both the public performance days because I was too worried I would be the only bassist there.
46. I have no allergies.
47. I don't wear glasses or contacts and have never had anything else done to my eyes. In other words, I don't have eye problems.
48. I have brown hair and brown eyes.
49. My dad is left handed.
50. I wish I were ambidextrous. However, I already use the mouse with my left hand, I play sports like hockey, baseball, golf in the left handed position, and I skateboard goofy.
51. I'm single and I like it that way.
52. Natasha Bedingfield is my favourite non-Christian singer.
53. It's 2:45 in the morning, but I'm not tired because I slept all day.
54. I've tried and failed to beat box.
55. Hannah Montana is an awesome show that makes me laugh.
56. I play hacki sack at lunch almost everyday.
57. I danced with African children to crazy frog music and had a lot of fun.
58. Settlers of Catan and Cities and knights are the best games ever. (in my opinion)
59. I have never been drunk and have never had any alcoholic drinks.
60. I have a doll named Linda.
61. I sleep with a purple teddy bear named Plum every night, and not ashamed at all to say it.
62. I have a problem with procrastination.
63. My blogspot is a secret that I'm glad you all know about.
64. When I was in grades 7 & 8 I had really short hair and was mistaken for a boy several times. So I'm never going back to that.
65. If I could change one thing about my appearance for a period of time without getting any flack for it I would love to shave my head.
67. I love the so called "emo" type of people.
68. I put quotations on 'emo' because I think that by using a word like that stereotypes and I try not to do that.
69. I used to go to Awanas and I won three trophies from the wooden car grand prix's.
70. My uncle will be starting a job as professor of web design at the university of Guelph-Humber soon.
71. I am the oldest of three children.
72. I'm 16 and my birthday is June 24.
73. My sister's name is Suzanne and she is 15. She's two years younger than me (keep in mind I'm turning 17).
74. My brother's name is Michael and he is 10, he's turning 11 at the end of the month. (Guitar Hero 3!)
75. It blew my mind when I found out that there was a single couple with 17 kids (going on 18). The Duggar family, they're somewhat famous.
76. I'm not afraid of heights. I've jumped off a 30ft diving tower 7 times before.
77. I love subs from Subway.
78. I used to really like Pokémon.
79. I hate anime drawings because I think they're unoriginal.
80. All four of my grandparents are still alive and well.
81. I've never felt the pain of having someone I love die.
82. I'm pretty good with an etch-a-sketch.
83. I'm a weirdo.
84. Neither of my parents were born in Canada or the States.
85. One of my best friends went to the Nationals for doing improv skits.
86. My mom's terrified of butterflies.
87. I used to always go to the science center on March breaks when I was younger.
88. I really want to go to China one day, hopefully on a missions trip.
89. I ate these nasty dried fish called kapenta in Africa.
90. I've ate fish food more recently than that as part of a challenge thinking that nothing could be more gross than kapenta... but I was wrong.
91. I used to read a lot of Bernstein Bears books.
92. I remember the shows like Bobby's World, Ned the Newt, Woody the Woodpecker and Rupert.
93. I also vaguely remember an even older show called What-A-Mess that no one else seems to remember. Do you guys know of it?
94. One time my mom was pouring hot water into my instant porridge and missed. I got burnt but you'd never be able to tell now.
95. I don't mean to offend anyone but I'm not really a cat person.
96. I love hugs.
97. I don't wear makeup, only coverup. Although, I don't have a problem with makeup, only excessive makeup.
98. My personal Bible right now is in the Message version, and I love it.
99. The fact that I said "right now" in the last point means that I have more than one Bible and therefore more than I need.
100. And I'm glad to be done. Enough about me, what's going on in your lives?
Me and a Person Called "Mom"
The past two days in my Bio class I dissected a pig (sorry if that grosses you out). Pretty interesting, I did all the hands on stuff because the other two girls in my group didn't want to. My favourite parts were cutting open the stomach and holding and cutting the pig's heart in half. I wish there was a cool way to allude to Snow White.
I think I was just exhausted yesterday or something. I walked home yesterday which I don't normally do, it may have triggered my dormant tiredness that was already there. I'm not out of shape though... K so when I got home I was hoping to have a lazy evening just chilling out at my house doing whatever maybe sleeping. Instead, my mom and I went to the mall. I am not a big shopper! At least for clothes shopping, I actually think it's a lot of work finding affordable styles I like and then getting the right sizes. Absolutely not my thing, but I needed more clothes.
I went, whatever, it was alright. We got Guitar Hero III for my brother's birthday. So I'll have to wait to play it. But that itself is an answer to prayer because my mom was worried we wouldn't be able to find any and there was lots at BestBuy where we bought the first one, and then we went to this other smaller store where they had some at a cheaper price. We returned the first one.
Here's what's important of this post: When we were done we got some Ice Capps from Tim Hortons (haha you guys don't have Tim Hortons :P) and pulled up in an empty parking lot and accidentally saw some fireworks. I was hoping for some good mother-daughter time. A lot of the time it seems like all she ever thinks about is my homework, honestly it's kind of important but it's nowhere a top priority in my life. And it's really irrelevant to anything I spend much time thinking about.
So I extended her the same offer to her that I offered you guys to ask me anything at all. Take one guess what she asked me. It's quite ridiculous. She asked me what my favourite animal was. I kinda got really frustrated after a little while. I love her but she doesn't really know me. Doesn't she want to know a little bit more? To know what makes me tick? What I'm passionate about?
I'm willing to talk but I really wish she'd just show some real interest in my life. Don't get the wrong impression though, she's definitely not some horrible mother. She's unique and really different from me. She's weird - in a good way but none the less weird. I guess this kind of thing really isn't one of her strengths. She said herself that she wasn't good at making up questions. I told her that I didn't just mean random questions but like anything. Still nothing.
Inside, when we got back to the house all the frustration, exhaustion, and a little bit of that-time-of-the-monthness, all kicked in and erupted. In other words, I cried some tears and tried to tell her what was bugging me. I don't really know how it all turned out but it's all good. And well it's a relationship, so you just gotta put some work in to get anything out.
We hugged this morning. And I think we're cool.
Now for an update on my friend. God is already starting to answer some prayers. Yesterday I had a golden opportunity to ask her about why she cuts, and so I did.
That's all, I'll chat with you ladies later!
I think I was just exhausted yesterday or something. I walked home yesterday which I don't normally do, it may have triggered my dormant tiredness that was already there. I'm not out of shape though... K so when I got home I was hoping to have a lazy evening just chilling out at my house doing whatever maybe sleeping. Instead, my mom and I went to the mall. I am not a big shopper! At least for clothes shopping, I actually think it's a lot of work finding affordable styles I like and then getting the right sizes. Absolutely not my thing, but I needed more clothes.
I went, whatever, it was alright. We got Guitar Hero III for my brother's birthday. So I'll have to wait to play it. But that itself is an answer to prayer because my mom was worried we wouldn't be able to find any and there was lots at BestBuy where we bought the first one, and then we went to this other smaller store where they had some at a cheaper price. We returned the first one.
Here's what's important of this post: When we were done we got some Ice Capps from Tim Hortons (haha you guys don't have Tim Hortons :P) and pulled up in an empty parking lot and accidentally saw some fireworks. I was hoping for some good mother-daughter time. A lot of the time it seems like all she ever thinks about is my homework, honestly it's kind of important but it's nowhere a top priority in my life. And it's really irrelevant to anything I spend much time thinking about.
So I extended her the same offer to her that I offered you guys to ask me anything at all. Take one guess what she asked me. It's quite ridiculous. She asked me what my favourite animal was. I kinda got really frustrated after a little while. I love her but she doesn't really know me. Doesn't she want to know a little bit more? To know what makes me tick? What I'm passionate about?
I'm willing to talk but I really wish she'd just show some real interest in my life. Don't get the wrong impression though, she's definitely not some horrible mother. She's unique and really different from me. She's weird - in a good way but none the less weird. I guess this kind of thing really isn't one of her strengths. She said herself that she wasn't good at making up questions. I told her that I didn't just mean random questions but like anything. Still nothing.
Inside, when we got back to the house all the frustration, exhaustion, and a little bit of that-time-of-the-monthness, all kicked in and erupted. In other words, I cried some tears and tried to tell her what was bugging me. I don't really know how it all turned out but it's all good. And well it's a relationship, so you just gotta put some work in to get anything out.
We hugged this morning. And I think we're cool.
Now for an update on my friend. God is already starting to answer some prayers. Yesterday I had a golden opportunity to ask her about why she cuts, and so I did.
That's all, I'll chat with you ladies later!
Thursday, May 15, 2008
What Goes on in my Head (sometimes)
Just now, I've just been in a quiet, reflective mood. It's cool, I really love it when it happens. Times like these often become prayer full and quite intimate with God. Sigh, sometimes I wish I could just be in Heaven so I could get that much more intimate with God.
I don't know if you've ever even thought of this, but I really think that in Heaven things between us and God aren't just going to be intimate spiritually but also physically. I mean, how many times does he talk about the church being the bride. And isn't it when man and wife have sex that they become one flesh? And why would God create something that cool just for this earthly, sin-filled life? What about books like Hosea, and chapters like Ezekiel 16? I don't know if it's true but that's my opinion. And what about the people who never get married and choose to honour God by never giving themselves away. Do they miss out completely?
I'm not gonna lie, it's not that rare a thing for me to wonder what it'll be like one day when I get married. I think it's pretty hard not to, seriously. I think us virgins are in for a big, mind-blowing surprise! I don't think there's anything I wouldn't be willing to try at least once, as long as I won't be getting hurt in the process (and definitely not my future husband). Just being honest.
And of everything I've ever read about it, I think the Song of Songs describes the whole thing quite explicitly. I think it talks about a longing for each other, especially when they're apart. And then there's that whole passage about sheep and a neck like a tower. I don't know what that's all about but I think it's a complement. It's the same thing that camps will sometimes make guys say it to girls for fun because it's hard to say without laughing. I want to be longed for, for my future spouse to cherish eveything I am inside and out.
And there's things I would want to ask any strong Christian married couple if the chance ever came up. I don't mean graphic detail, I don't want to know that. No pornographic stories for me, there are too many movies for that stuff. I'll hopefully find out one day for myself. I wonder things like what does a good sex life in a marriage look like? I always hear "save yourself for marriage, you won't regret it", but you never hear what's on the other side. Is anybody out there in the same boat as me?
Anyways, I'll stop there. But I guess this would be an appropriate time to mention the purity vow that I made almost a year ago now. Three days before my 16th birthday I wrote this (June 21, 2007):
Alright Jesus, so this is my VOW. I promise to you that I will not give away my purity. Never. Not to any boyfriend I ever have. I will only give myself to my future husband. I think that hand holding is ok. All the kissing , making out, touching, feeling, playing around, foreplay, sex and everything else I'm saving for marriage. Please help me to honour and keep this vow. I can't do it on my own strength. But "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" Philippians 4:13. As a reminder of this vow to You I wear a ring that I'm calling my purity ring. In Your holy name alone I make this vow, signed my name.
That is the vow that I'm still keeping. Saving kissing for the altar, hardcore, that's what I'm talking about! I'm not wearing a ring right now though because I bought two wooden rings in Africa and they both broke because I never took them off. Anybody want to send me a gift in the mail for my 17th? I knew it at the time when I wrote this, that I was promising to save a lot, basically everything. But I'm still realizing just how much it really is. So that verse is gonna be pretty important. I dress modestly too, as you may have guessed, so as not to lead any boys on. Now you can say you know what goes on in my head.
I don't know if you've ever even thought of this, but I really think that in Heaven things between us and God aren't just going to be intimate spiritually but also physically. I mean, how many times does he talk about the church being the bride. And isn't it when man and wife have sex that they become one flesh? And why would God create something that cool just for this earthly, sin-filled life? What about books like Hosea, and chapters like Ezekiel 16? I don't know if it's true but that's my opinion. And what about the people who never get married and choose to honour God by never giving themselves away. Do they miss out completely?
I'm not gonna lie, it's not that rare a thing for me to wonder what it'll be like one day when I get married. I think it's pretty hard not to, seriously. I think us virgins are in for a big, mind-blowing surprise! I don't think there's anything I wouldn't be willing to try at least once, as long as I won't be getting hurt in the process (and definitely not my future husband). Just being honest.
And of everything I've ever read about it, I think the Song of Songs describes the whole thing quite explicitly. I think it talks about a longing for each other, especially when they're apart. And then there's that whole passage about sheep and a neck like a tower. I don't know what that's all about but I think it's a complement. It's the same thing that camps will sometimes make guys say it to girls for fun because it's hard to say without laughing. I want to be longed for, for my future spouse to cherish eveything I am inside and out.
And there's things I would want to ask any strong Christian married couple if the chance ever came up. I don't mean graphic detail, I don't want to know that. No pornographic stories for me, there are too many movies for that stuff. I'll hopefully find out one day for myself. I wonder things like what does a good sex life in a marriage look like? I always hear "save yourself for marriage, you won't regret it", but you never hear what's on the other side. Is anybody out there in the same boat as me?
Anyways, I'll stop there. But I guess this would be an appropriate time to mention the purity vow that I made almost a year ago now. Three days before my 16th birthday I wrote this (June 21, 2007):
Alright Jesus, so this is my VOW. I promise to you that I will not give away my purity. Never. Not to any boyfriend I ever have. I will only give myself to my future husband. I think that hand holding is ok. All the kissing , making out, touching, feeling, playing around, foreplay, sex and everything else I'm saving for marriage. Please help me to honour and keep this vow. I can't do it on my own strength. But "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" Philippians 4:13. As a reminder of this vow to You I wear a ring that I'm calling my purity ring. In Your holy name alone I make this vow, signed my name.
That is the vow that I'm still keeping. Saving kissing for the altar, hardcore, that's what I'm talking about! I'm not wearing a ring right now though because I bought two wooden rings in Africa and they both broke because I never took them off. Anybody want to send me a gift in the mail for my 17th? I knew it at the time when I wrote this, that I was promising to save a lot, basically everything. But I'm still realizing just how much it really is. So that verse is gonna be pretty important. I dress modestly too, as you may have guessed, so as not to lead any boys on. Now you can say you know what goes on in my head.
Answers
So two posts ago asked for questions. (Post more) I'm going to answer the ones I already have right here.
1.) Has there ever been a time in your life where you just at your wits end and you had to fully rely on God?
SO Many! I'll give a few quickly, when I was younger I got lost and was just praying to God the whole time that I would get home. My mom called the police and they found me and brought me home. That reminds me last year I took the wrong bus to get home one time and I was worried I'd end up in Toronto... it was fun though. My parents don't even know about that time.
More recently, three nights ago actually, a mix of business and procrastination led me to do a bio lab in one night. I went to get my stuff from my binder and then remembered that I put it in my physics binder and felt like a complete idiot because I didn't have it with me. I thought I was going to get a zero just because I didn't have my stuff and that teacher's strict. But she gave me a onetime days grace to get it done. I stayed up late the next day. But I was praying that God would provide and he did!
2.) Your dream vacation?
My dream vacation, hmm... I love summer but, and I don't know if this would be my favourite, I've always kinda thought that it fun to maybe when I'm married find a cabin on a snowy mountain and learn to ski or snowboard.
3.) Favorite movie?
Ratatouille! It's amazing, if you haven't seen it go buy it (no need for renting). Good story, good graphics, and a lot of funny moments. I love Pixar movies.
4.) What are all the places you've been to on vacation or mission trips and which has been your favorite experience?
All the places I've been for vacations and mission trips: Malawi (missions trip), Zambia (debrief of trip & safari), Zimbabwe (my great aunt lives there), the Eastern provinces (vacation), Florida & Georgia (vacation). Zimbabwe was my favourite vacation and then Malawi's definitely incomparable with anything else I've ever done. It's completely unique and there's good and bad connected with it that I would never change because of everything that's happened.
5.) What did you want to be when you were little?
Pfft... either an astronomer or an astronaut. I was a weirdo but the night sky's always fascinated me! And the thought of weighing so much less on the moon was amusing (still is). Good question.
1.) Has there ever been a time in your life where you just at your wits end and you had to fully rely on God?
SO Many! I'll give a few quickly, when I was younger I got lost and was just praying to God the whole time that I would get home. My mom called the police and they found me and brought me home. That reminds me last year I took the wrong bus to get home one time and I was worried I'd end up in Toronto... it was fun though. My parents don't even know about that time.
More recently, three nights ago actually, a mix of business and procrastination led me to do a bio lab in one night. I went to get my stuff from my binder and then remembered that I put it in my physics binder and felt like a complete idiot because I didn't have it with me. I thought I was going to get a zero just because I didn't have my stuff and that teacher's strict. But she gave me a onetime days grace to get it done. I stayed up late the next day. But I was praying that God would provide and he did!
2.) Your dream vacation?
My dream vacation, hmm... I love summer but, and I don't know if this would be my favourite, I've always kinda thought that it fun to maybe when I'm married find a cabin on a snowy mountain and learn to ski or snowboard.
3.) Favorite movie?
Ratatouille! It's amazing, if you haven't seen it go buy it (no need for renting). Good story, good graphics, and a lot of funny moments. I love Pixar movies.
4.) What are all the places you've been to on vacation or mission trips and which has been your favorite experience?
All the places I've been for vacations and mission trips: Malawi (missions trip), Zambia (debrief of trip & safari), Zimbabwe (my great aunt lives there), the Eastern provinces (vacation), Florida & Georgia (vacation). Zimbabwe was my favourite vacation and then Malawi's definitely incomparable with anything else I've ever done. It's completely unique and there's good and bad connected with it that I would never change because of everything that's happened.
5.) What did you want to be when you were little?
Pfft... either an astronomer or an astronaut. I was a weirdo but the night sky's always fascinated me! And the thought of weighing so much less on the moon was amusing (still is). Good question.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
My Testimony
My last blog inspired me to put up my testimony. This could be long or short, I'll shoot for somewhat short :S
Well my life started as an MK in Belgium. My parents were missionaries there, but it didn't last long because my mom hated it. So I don't even remember that. But I've grown up in the church, in a Christian family my whole life. That makes me abnormal when you look around at so many other people in our lives.
I'll tell you more about it than that, but I was telling my friend Hope once before about Lacey Mosley's testimony and how I thought it was so cool (you can tell I've got this thing, passion almost, starting up for people with stories of cutting and hurt and so much more). And what Hope told me that's cool about grown-up-in-church stories, is God's faithfulness in our lives to keep us from those things that would hurt us - still not the same, but good perspective.
So after a few years of being in Belgium we came home to Canada and lived in one place until I had finished gr.1. I'm the oldest and by the end of gr.1 I had acquired a sister and brother. I left behind some good friends (who I've recently found out aren't so great anymore). So when I moved I think I became more introverted, going to a new school and meeting new people. All the way through the elementary I never had any good friends. Just for trivia it was French immersion (no importance).
I really first accepted him when I was 8 in July 1999 and then on December 4, 2005 I was baptised by my dad.
I was glad to leave that place and go to high school. Probably late public school years my dad became the youth pastor at a Filipino church that's about an hour out of town. In gr9 I wanted to be more apart of the local church that I had previously gone to because I had some friends there and so I slowly ditched my dad's church for the local one, of which I'm now a member (same God!). I still visit sometimes though.
Gr10, maybe late Gr9, my life story starts to pick up a little interest. I grew a lot in my faith in gr 10 with great role models but the one question that was always on my mind was "Who am I?" . And I'd drive myself crazy with it on some days. Sometimes I would cry at night when no one knew after I had thought about it too much. Remember, then I was really quite introverted (less now I think). I've never had a whole lot of friends. I blamed my lack of friends on my personality, although I may have twisted my words at the time so that it sounded better.
I've had some cool God stories too, which I would say are part of my testimony. Things like Africa, Morgan specifically, that dream I told you about. I'm more confident with who I am now, it's not really something I'm concerned about anymore. Although, if I'm feeling moody and almost looking for something to cry about, I may just whip it out again.
This thing is kind of an on going testimony so I'm leaving it open ended. Maybe I'll elaborate more on certain things if it comes up but this gives you an idea my life so far. I'm in gr11 now and things are generally good. And I'm signing out now, peace!
Well my life started as an MK in Belgium. My parents were missionaries there, but it didn't last long because my mom hated it. So I don't even remember that. But I've grown up in the church, in a Christian family my whole life. That makes me abnormal when you look around at so many other people in our lives.
I'll tell you more about it than that, but I was telling my friend Hope once before about Lacey Mosley's testimony and how I thought it was so cool (you can tell I've got this thing, passion almost, starting up for people with stories of cutting and hurt and so much more). And what Hope told me that's cool about grown-up-in-church stories, is God's faithfulness in our lives to keep us from those things that would hurt us - still not the same, but good perspective.
So after a few years of being in Belgium we came home to Canada and lived in one place until I had finished gr.1. I'm the oldest and by the end of gr.1 I had acquired a sister and brother. I left behind some good friends (who I've recently found out aren't so great anymore). So when I moved I think I became more introverted, going to a new school and meeting new people. All the way through the elementary I never had any good friends. Just for trivia it was French immersion (no importance).
I really first accepted him when I was 8 in July 1999 and then on December 4, 2005 I was baptised by my dad.
I was glad to leave that place and go to high school. Probably late public school years my dad became the youth pastor at a Filipino church that's about an hour out of town. In gr9 I wanted to be more apart of the local church that I had previously gone to because I had some friends there and so I slowly ditched my dad's church for the local one, of which I'm now a member (same God!). I still visit sometimes though.
Gr10, maybe late Gr9, my life story starts to pick up a little interest. I grew a lot in my faith in gr 10 with great role models but the one question that was always on my mind was "Who am I?" . And I'd drive myself crazy with it on some days. Sometimes I would cry at night when no one knew after I had thought about it too much. Remember, then I was really quite introverted (less now I think). I've never had a whole lot of friends. I blamed my lack of friends on my personality, although I may have twisted my words at the time so that it sounded better.
I've had some cool God stories too, which I would say are part of my testimony. Things like Africa, Morgan specifically, that dream I told you about. I'm more confident with who I am now, it's not really something I'm concerned about anymore. Although, if I'm feeling moody and almost looking for something to cry about, I may just whip it out again.
This thing is kind of an on going testimony so I'm leaving it open ended. Maybe I'll elaborate more on certain things if it comes up but this gives you an idea my life so far. I'm in gr11 now and things are generally good. And I'm signing out now, peace!
Just Ask It
Do it. Just ask it. What I mean by that is that if you want to ever ask me something then ask it. Anytime, but I think it'd be cool to just have one blog set aside for questions. Don't be shy, go ahead - interview me if you want! I have no problem with personal questions. I think the only ones I won't answer directly on here would be things like my address or something, things that are too much for the Internet to hold, y'know. Now for a short story that doesn't relate to what I just wrote.... Last night, well first of all, have I told that I'm going up to Thunderbay the first week of July for a something that's basically a missions trip? I think I may have mentioned it at least once before, possibly as a side note or indirectly. Either way, I am and I'm going with some awesome people I know to run a camp for First Nations kids. It's exciting.
So last night, I had a meeting for it and I went obviously. Three people there got to practise giving a short version of their testimonies as prep for the camp. The rest of us will go the next time. One girl though gave her testimony and what I never knew before was that she used to be into drugs, alcohol and cutting before. I talked to her afterwards about my friend in my media arts class, just asking her how to go about it and stuff. She mostly just said to ask questions, she said that no one really told her about Jesus but that she got into Him through the youth center (the people I'm going to Thunderbay with). What I got out of it was to ask questions to try and understand where they're coming from and I guess just be a friend because everyone needs friends.
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
"All I know is you need love and I've got a family" - AudioA (Big House)
I may or may not have mentioned this before but this place, bloggers that is, is really cool. We're all blogging friends I guess, but I think it's more than than that. We're pretty much prayer partners too, for whereever we're at. This place but mostly you guys are just blessings God has given me. From October, when I first started, to March no one even knew about this blog and I was hardly on.
Then, one April day, I was "managing posts" and when at looked to the right side of the screen I was suddenly shocked to see "1 comment" appear. It was in fact Sam! I guess you could say she's my home girl (don't worry I don't normally say things like that). Since then I've been on almost at least every other day.
So guess it's the same for everyone, this kind of fascination with the fact that none of us (except Sam and Casey) have actually met, and yet we feel so close, almost like a family. And from the comments left here and from what I've seen elsewhere, there's a lot of prayer going on if we're all keeping our words. It's just like "Sure I'll pray for your work, and your prom, and your parents", "You know I'll be praying for your homework and your friends and whatever else is on your mind", and "I'll definitely be praying for that missions trip you're going on for the Big Guy (with all due respect)". It's so cool!!!
So thanks, let's keep it up! Ba ba ba ba ba... I'm loving it! (lame)
Then, one April day, I was "managing posts" and when at looked to the right side of the screen I was suddenly shocked to see "1 comment" appear. It was in fact Sam! I guess you could say she's my home girl (don't worry I don't normally say things like that). Since then I've been on almost at least every other day.
So guess it's the same for everyone, this kind of fascination with the fact that none of us (except Sam and Casey) have actually met, and yet we feel so close, almost like a family. And from the comments left here and from what I've seen elsewhere, there's a lot of prayer going on if we're all keeping our words. It's just like "Sure I'll pray for your work, and your prom, and your parents", "You know I'll be praying for your homework and your friends and whatever else is on your mind", and "I'll definitely be praying for that missions trip you're going on for the Big Guy (with all due respect)". It's so cool!!!
So thanks, let's keep it up! Ba ba ba ba ba... I'm loving it! (lame)
Monday, May 12, 2008
The Start of a Project (pun? just read)
Today in my media arts class we started our final project due at the end of the year, which is a claymation. Youtube's littered with them. My teacher's put up a few simple ones. His youtube username is thejamesshow, if you want to check him out.
Everyone's working in partners. Since I don't have any close friends in the first place in that class, I was originally hoping to be able to work with a guy named Adam who's getting like a 95. But for those of you who have read all of my previous blogs, if you can just remember that girl God had asked me to talk that one day... well, I'm working with her and I'm kind of excited because I'm just hoping that God will use me to reach her with His love.
She's I guess the kind of person you might call an "emo". And I really hope that none of you have any prejudices against them or anything of the sort. If you don't know the term - basically there's a certain stereotype that comes along with it all. You can look it up but because of that I think a lot of jokes and criticism has come of it. In some cases it's more than anything a fashion and just used for attention, but then the other side it is the association with things like depression, self-injury like cutting and stuff, often drugs, and also suicide.
Personally, I'm pretty sure they're just people that hurting for any number of reasons that don't know how to deal with it. They're people who need God's love and hope. I don't actually know her that well and I won't write anything I don't know of for sure but I've seen her right wrist and the marks left from cutting. She does drugs, I don't even think it's important which ones either.
I posted on one of my oldest blogs, a video that one of my friends helped make a while ago about cutting. Check it out.
Prayer for her and for me would be amazing! Pray that God would give chances for me to get to know her more and to talk to her. There's so many things I'd love to ask her if I knew her better. And please also pray that day I'll have the opportunity to tell her about Jesus! Thank you guys! Oh by the way, she's Wiccan so pray that that doesn't get in the way.
yggiC
Just a really good song... (In Silence, by Michael W. Smith)
Everyone's working in partners. Since I don't have any close friends in the first place in that class, I was originally hoping to be able to work with a guy named Adam who's getting like a 95. But for those of you who have read all of my previous blogs, if you can just remember that girl God had asked me to talk that one day... well, I'm working with her and I'm kind of excited because I'm just hoping that God will use me to reach her with His love.
She's I guess the kind of person you might call an "emo". And I really hope that none of you have any prejudices against them or anything of the sort. If you don't know the term - basically there's a certain stereotype that comes along with it all. You can look it up but because of that I think a lot of jokes and criticism has come of it. In some cases it's more than anything a fashion and just used for attention, but then the other side it is the association with things like depression, self-injury like cutting and stuff, often drugs, and also suicide.
Personally, I'm pretty sure they're just people that hurting for any number of reasons that don't know how to deal with it. They're people who need God's love and hope. I don't actually know her that well and I won't write anything I don't know of for sure but I've seen her right wrist and the marks left from cutting. She does drugs, I don't even think it's important which ones either.
I posted on one of my oldest blogs, a video that one of my friends helped make a while ago about cutting. Check it out.
Prayer for her and for me would be amazing! Pray that God would give chances for me to get to know her more and to talk to her. There's so many things I'd love to ask her if I knew her better. And please also pray that day I'll have the opportunity to tell her about Jesus! Thank you guys! Oh by the way, she's Wiccan so pray that that doesn't get in the way.
yggiC
Just a really good song... (In Silence, by Michael W. Smith)
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Rugby, 3t, and other stuff
For lack of a better title I called it that, basically here's what's been going on in my life lately.
On Friday (like any other day) I had Bio first first period and I don't know why but I was just loving everything I was taking in! What I'm realizing is that I really like biology, and not so much Physics. I thought I'd really like Physics, cause it's like math (I like math), but it's simple math and I'm not too interested in the science of it. I think I may have to come back an extra semester after I graduate just so I can take Bio 12.
Later on, on Friday, I heard that there was a rugby game going on at the end of the day so I stuck around to watch. My friend Morgan really passionately loves rugby so I wanted to support her. (By the way, I don't really know what it means to give someone up. If you have a definition then that's cool, but for me I think it's just meaning, not expecting her to be a real friend and not being as close to her as I would like to be, but loving everything I do get. And truly I love being her friend and spending time with her). She's the captain of the team and I went to support her. While they were warming up I had a really cool chance to talk with her mom, we know each other but we've never really talked ever, and it was good. I told her that I love it when I see her out on Sundays (because she's rather inconsistent, and not really a Christian). Her mom's kind of living a hard life right now and I've been praying that she would be able to get a job soon that she still doesn't have. I'm guessing she needs some good friends so I was glad to spend the time with her.
I just love them so much, they can be funny people. The game was almost starting her mom goes over to see Morgan and asks her to French braid her hair quickly, and she did. She was taking pictures of her and her mom and one of our other friends, and she made me so happy and I'm so thankful that she even just was like "take a picture of me and Steph"... (sigh, please keep praying that I would be trusting God for things). It was good. I also met her dad for the first time, they look a lot alike. Her parents are split up and so I can't even imagine what that would be like.
They didn't win the game but it was good anyways.
Today I went Tree Top Trekking. Look it up if you want to know more. It was a bit of work but fun. Now that I think about it there's not much to say there. Although my friend Dylan (initials DS) later on ate quite a big piece of hot pepper just for a meal at Wendy's. He's was nearly crying and breaking a sweat.
Mother's day is tomorrow. When I was younger I had broken a lot of my mom's very loved precious moments due to a fight with my sister. It was an accident but it made her sad. My dad got and gave her 5 new ones that I had broken. He's has another one that he's saving for their anniversary but my mom loved getting some of them back. Overall a good day.
Well it's been a couple minutes since I wrote the last paragraph, I've been sitting here thinking... so I guess there's nothing left important to say.
Love you all, thanks for reading!
On Friday (like any other day) I had Bio first first period and I don't know why but I was just loving everything I was taking in! What I'm realizing is that I really like biology, and not so much Physics. I thought I'd really like Physics, cause it's like math (I like math), but it's simple math and I'm not too interested in the science of it. I think I may have to come back an extra semester after I graduate just so I can take Bio 12.
Later on, on Friday, I heard that there was a rugby game going on at the end of the day so I stuck around to watch. My friend Morgan really passionately loves rugby so I wanted to support her. (By the way, I don't really know what it means to give someone up. If you have a definition then that's cool, but for me I think it's just meaning, not expecting her to be a real friend and not being as close to her as I would like to be, but loving everything I do get. And truly I love being her friend and spending time with her). She's the captain of the team and I went to support her. While they were warming up I had a really cool chance to talk with her mom, we know each other but we've never really talked ever, and it was good. I told her that I love it when I see her out on Sundays (because she's rather inconsistent, and not really a Christian). Her mom's kind of living a hard life right now and I've been praying that she would be able to get a job soon that she still doesn't have. I'm guessing she needs some good friends so I was glad to spend the time with her.
I just love them so much, they can be funny people. The game was almost starting her mom goes over to see Morgan and asks her to French braid her hair quickly, and she did. She was taking pictures of her and her mom and one of our other friends, and she made me so happy and I'm so thankful that she even just was like "take a picture of me and Steph"... (sigh, please keep praying that I would be trusting God for things). It was good. I also met her dad for the first time, they look a lot alike. Her parents are split up and so I can't even imagine what that would be like.
They didn't win the game but it was good anyways.
Today I went Tree Top Trekking. Look it up if you want to know more. It was a bit of work but fun. Now that I think about it there's not much to say there. Although my friend Dylan (initials DS) later on ate quite a big piece of hot pepper just for a meal at Wendy's. He's was nearly crying and breaking a sweat.
Mother's day is tomorrow. When I was younger I had broken a lot of my mom's very loved precious moments due to a fight with my sister. It was an accident but it made her sad. My dad got and gave her 5 new ones that I had broken. He's has another one that he's saving for their anniversary but my mom loved getting some of them back. Overall a good day.
Well it's been a couple minutes since I wrote the last paragraph, I've been sitting here thinking... so I guess there's nothing left important to say.
Love you all, thanks for reading!
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
The house fire and my motivation
Recent happenings: Yesterday (May 5) a house on the street right next to mine got burnt down. No one died... which is great. I have friends that live on either side of the house so it's cool that it wasn't either of theirs, but it still sucks for the other people. The place is a wreck, you could pray that the family sees God through the whole situation.
I ordered bearings from eBay last Sunday night for my skateboard, and I got them today in the mail. They're Bones Reds and they work nicely.
I kind of procrastinate a fair bit, and am even doing that now. So I probably shouldn't be on here but I was thinking about why I do and why I find it easier to work late at night. This is what I've thought of so far: at night there's no one else awake to distract me by saying things like "hey can you solve this Rubik's cube for me?" or other random things, and I can't do things that involve lots of noise like watching TV. At night no one's calling my house and it's too late to call other people. It's also gets quite dark out so I can't get distrated by saying things like "it's so nice out maybe I'll skateboard for an hour and then do work". Plus that would just be dangerous... you never know who creeps at night.
If I'm looking for distractions at night a big one is the Internet and the other is my art because at the min. all you need is a pencil and paper.
If it's a last minute situation then my motivation is just like if I don't get it done I'll get a zero (when I'm pretty smart) and furthermore disappoint people.
Sometimes the issue is that I don't really understand what I have to do but I'd say most cases there's either a lack of interest or lack of real motivation because I can't see the purpose behind it (which is espescially true of my English class).
So if you have any solutions to the problem or ideas for motivation that would be sweet! Accountability works great if I call someone ahead of time to check up on me but I rarely do that.
PS the title is purposely misleading, I'm not insane (at least in that sense, I mean you never know)
Oh! And you know that physics lab that my teacher gave me a second chance on, I got one of the highest marks: 17/20. I was happy with it! (Thank you Jesus for the whole deal!).
I ordered bearings from eBay last Sunday night for my skateboard, and I got them today in the mail. They're Bones Reds and they work nicely.
I kind of procrastinate a fair bit, and am even doing that now. So I probably shouldn't be on here but I was thinking about why I do and why I find it easier to work late at night. This is what I've thought of so far: at night there's no one else awake to distract me by saying things like "hey can you solve this Rubik's cube for me?" or other random things, and I can't do things that involve lots of noise like watching TV. At night no one's calling my house and it's too late to call other people. It's also gets quite dark out so I can't get distrated by saying things like "it's so nice out maybe I'll skateboard for an hour and then do work". Plus that would just be dangerous... you never know who creeps at night.
If I'm looking for distractions at night a big one is the Internet and the other is my art because at the min. all you need is a pencil and paper.
If it's a last minute situation then my motivation is just like if I don't get it done I'll get a zero (when I'm pretty smart) and furthermore disappoint people.
Sometimes the issue is that I don't really understand what I have to do but I'd say most cases there's either a lack of interest or lack of real motivation because I can't see the purpose behind it (which is espescially true of my English class).
So if you have any solutions to the problem or ideas for motivation that would be sweet! Accountability works great if I call someone ahead of time to check up on me but I rarely do that.
PS the title is purposely misleading, I'm not insane (at least in that sense, I mean you never know)
Oh! And you know that physics lab that my teacher gave me a second chance on, I got one of the highest marks: 17/20. I was happy with it! (Thank you Jesus for the whole deal!).
Sunday, May 4, 2008
Ironman
I saw Ironman today with some people and it was a really great movie!
That's all, may the 4th be with you! (corny, I know but I didn't make it up)
PS. I thought I'd just add what I thought as far appropriateness and whatever. It's rated PG (PG13 actually, but they're both the same in Canada, kinda stupid). There's some violence obviously, which is the worst of it espescially if you're against violence. No sex, not even kissing really. As far as modesty goes, the dress was basically clean but there is a small dance scene where one of the lead characters is wearing a backless dress. They only show it once though for like two seconds. Language isn't that bad: I think that they quietly said "son of a b____" one time, and no joke if I was really paying attention I wouldn't have even noticed. And they used the term bs, and we know what that is, once with out actually saying the words. That's everything questionable that I caught, so you can decide whether you think it's clean enough to watch. For a Hollywood movie of its quality I'd say there's not much to complain about.
That's all, may the 4th be with you! (corny, I know but I didn't make it up)
PS. I thought I'd just add what I thought as far appropriateness and whatever. It's rated PG (PG13 actually, but they're both the same in Canada, kinda stupid). There's some violence obviously, which is the worst of it espescially if you're against violence. No sex, not even kissing really. As far as modesty goes, the dress was basically clean but there is a small dance scene where one of the lead characters is wearing a backless dress. They only show it once though for like two seconds. Language isn't that bad: I think that they quietly said "son of a b____" one time, and no joke if I was really paying attention I wouldn't have even noticed. And they used the term bs, and we know what that is, once with out actually saying the words. That's everything questionable that I caught, so you can decide whether you think it's clean enough to watch. For a Hollywood movie of its quality I'd say there's not much to complain about.
Saturday, May 3, 2008
Someone likes me pt2
I really don't want to be writing this because it's not like I'm looking for guys to like me. I'm not even the kind of girl who I think of as someone who's really sought after, but it might not seem like that from your computer screen because of these blogs. So for like the past hour I've been chatting with this guy on facebook and then he tells me that he likes me. Basically what I told him was that I thought that it was cool that he liked me but I really just want to fall more in love with Jesus right now. Then I asked him if we could just pray for each other for a while, just whatever and I think he was fine with that. I really hope I didn't break his heart :(.
I know he's not the same guy as mentioned in the other blog because I have a pretty good idea of who that is. And if it is that person I want to get to know him more. It's not even an official crush (or maybe it is, what makes one?) but he seems like a really caring person who loves Jesus, and a love for Jesus is attractive to me. And while I'm blogging this, I might aswell mention that I've been bugged a couple times by a friend that I like someone with the initials DS (just because I don't want to put his name on the Internet). But it's not true anyways. He's a friend I see a lot at school but we really just talk about Hannah Montana because were both fans of her and play hacki sack.
This blog was probably a waste of your time but now you know the scoop!
I know he's not the same guy as mentioned in the other blog because I have a pretty good idea of who that is. And if it is that person I want to get to know him more. It's not even an official crush (or maybe it is, what makes one?) but he seems like a really caring person who loves Jesus, and a love for Jesus is attractive to me. And while I'm blogging this, I might aswell mention that I've been bugged a couple times by a friend that I like someone with the initials DS (just because I don't want to put his name on the Internet). But it's not true anyways. He's a friend I see a lot at school but we really just talk about Hannah Montana because were both fans of her and play hacki sack.
This blog was probably a waste of your time but now you know the scoop!
Friday, May 2, 2008
Surrender is so hard
I'm blurgging today. Whatever that means.
I have no idea whatever I've written before that might relate to this BUT (sigh) here is something.
February 16 this year was a really cool day for me I guess you could say. It was the Saturday of snocamp with my church. That day I had the chance to talk with my pastor and my friend Morgan about a lot just us. Before the weekend had even begun and I was still considering going I had clearly heard God saying I want you to go even if it costs you, so I went. And always just looking for someone to be a real friend for me. Later on that day at the evening secession there was one of those times when the opportunity comes up where you can just unload whatever's going on to the people around you. And I was hesitant at first to join into the huddle of girls that were hugging and crying and talking and stuff. But after a couple minutes I came over to them and wrapped my arms around them and I didn't mean to, and it was really unnatural for me, but I started crying too.
My friend Morgan was in the group, and even though she had and still does have stuff going on in her life, she was more there as a leader for us. Then the difference between me and the other two girls there was that they were talking about what they were crying about, whereas I was crying without a verbal explanation. What really the truth is that I was looking for a friend like always. And every time I get close to someone I hope that they'll be real and last. Morgan kept hugging me afterwards and it felt soo good and even though I didn't tell her what was going on right then and there I did tell her that I wanted to show her something later on and pray with. Now that I think about it I wish I had said everything and prayed with her right there.
Since then a few things have changed, the Bible study that we were both at at the time wasn't the place where she needed to be (she was the leader of it). The following week she came and instead of following our lousy curriculum, she opened up more than she even had on that weekend. It was good and it gave me hope that group could get to a better place. That was the last week she went though and nothing really came of it. As a side note, I'm not upset at her in anyway to make things clear. Right now the group's not in a great place and it could use some prayer, maybe I'll make a specific request at the end of this...
But anyways, since snocamp I have never really prayed with her the way I want to, although I did show her what I wanted to show her, which was a drawing I drew after an important phone call I made to her in November (I have blogged about that for sure before). I'll post that up here when I bring my sketchbook home. Even then, I don't think she understood how much it really actually meant.
Honestly though, and this is what hurts the most, it never feels like she goes out her way to be my friend. And I love her soo much! I pray for her and her family whenever I get the chance. Now it's come to the point where I just can't ignore that God's telling me to let her go. At least for now, I have to put it all in God's hands and trust him.
And when I pray I just feel like saying "but God you don't know how much I love her and how much I need a real friend". But of course he does and it's hard to trust and surrender it all. I'm definitely not going to stop loving her but what it will mean is I won't be able to expect anything from her anymore. God knows everything about me he knows all my needs and the thing I need most is to find out more of the love he has for me and let him be my best friend. And these words are so true:
"You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be your name"
A new chapter maybe, but I hate it when chapters come to an end. I still hope that things get better one day. And hopefully it won't be too long before I meet a whole-book kind of person in my life, it would be nice at least.
Back to my small group, well it's just gotten smaller again. Last year the group was growing like crazy, now I'm the only core member left, except for Hope whose house it's at (love her :P, she reads this blog by the way, so I clearly trust her). Lauren, who's been with us since the beginning of this year, didn't come last night and when I asked her where she was today she said she wasn't coming anymore, I have no idea why... My prayer request is that God would bring growth to the group again. And also that in lives of the people who go, it would be evident that God lives in us and that the following year God would bring a leader of his choice to make things new again!
Please pray and thanks for keeping interest in my life...
graffitigirl
ADD ON MAY 7:
I heard this song today and this is what it reminded me of. By the way, it hasn't gotten any easier yet... it's almost harder cause I'm praying for her more now. This kind of reminds me of something I read in my Bible a little while ago, God was telling one of the prophets (Jeremiah perhaps) to stop praying for Israel because he was hard set against them for their sins and that he had made up his mind to scatter them. The interesting thing is that he kept praying anyways... and God also did scatter them. Just some food for thought.
I have no idea whatever I've written before that might relate to this BUT (sigh) here is something.
February 16 this year was a really cool day for me I guess you could say. It was the Saturday of snocamp with my church. That day I had the chance to talk with my pastor and my friend Morgan about a lot just us. Before the weekend had even begun and I was still considering going I had clearly heard God saying I want you to go even if it costs you, so I went. And always just looking for someone to be a real friend for me. Later on that day at the evening secession there was one of those times when the opportunity comes up where you can just unload whatever's going on to the people around you. And I was hesitant at first to join into the huddle of girls that were hugging and crying and talking and stuff. But after a couple minutes I came over to them and wrapped my arms around them and I didn't mean to, and it was really unnatural for me, but I started crying too.
My friend Morgan was in the group, and even though she had and still does have stuff going on in her life, she was more there as a leader for us. Then the difference between me and the other two girls there was that they were talking about what they were crying about, whereas I was crying without a verbal explanation. What really the truth is that I was looking for a friend like always. And every time I get close to someone I hope that they'll be real and last. Morgan kept hugging me afterwards and it felt soo good and even though I didn't tell her what was going on right then and there I did tell her that I wanted to show her something later on and pray with. Now that I think about it I wish I had said everything and prayed with her right there.
Since then a few things have changed, the Bible study that we were both at at the time wasn't the place where she needed to be (she was the leader of it). The following week she came and instead of following our lousy curriculum, she opened up more than she even had on that weekend. It was good and it gave me hope that group could get to a better place. That was the last week she went though and nothing really came of it. As a side note, I'm not upset at her in anyway to make things clear. Right now the group's not in a great place and it could use some prayer, maybe I'll make a specific request at the end of this...
But anyways, since snocamp I have never really prayed with her the way I want to, although I did show her what I wanted to show her, which was a drawing I drew after an important phone call I made to her in November (I have blogged about that for sure before). I'll post that up here when I bring my sketchbook home. Even then, I don't think she understood how much it really actually meant.
Honestly though, and this is what hurts the most, it never feels like she goes out her way to be my friend. And I love her soo much! I pray for her and her family whenever I get the chance. Now it's come to the point where I just can't ignore that God's telling me to let her go. At least for now, I have to put it all in God's hands and trust him.
And when I pray I just feel like saying "but God you don't know how much I love her and how much I need a real friend". But of course he does and it's hard to trust and surrender it all. I'm definitely not going to stop loving her but what it will mean is I won't be able to expect anything from her anymore. God knows everything about me he knows all my needs and the thing I need most is to find out more of the love he has for me and let him be my best friend. And these words are so true:
"You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be your name"
A new chapter maybe, but I hate it when chapters come to an end. I still hope that things get better one day. And hopefully it won't be too long before I meet a whole-book kind of person in my life, it would be nice at least.
Back to my small group, well it's just gotten smaller again. Last year the group was growing like crazy, now I'm the only core member left, except for Hope whose house it's at (love her :P, she reads this blog by the way, so I clearly trust her). Lauren, who's been with us since the beginning of this year, didn't come last night and when I asked her where she was today she said she wasn't coming anymore, I have no idea why... My prayer request is that God would bring growth to the group again. And also that in lives of the people who go, it would be evident that God lives in us and that the following year God would bring a leader of his choice to make things new again!
Please pray and thanks for keeping interest in my life...
graffitigirl
ADD ON MAY 7:
I heard this song today and this is what it reminded me of. By the way, it hasn't gotten any easier yet... it's almost harder cause I'm praying for her more now. This kind of reminds me of something I read in my Bible a little while ago, God was telling one of the prophets (Jeremiah perhaps) to stop praying for Israel because he was hard set against them for their sins and that he had made up his mind to scatter them. The interesting thing is that he kept praying anyways... and God also did scatter them. Just some food for thought.
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