I was thinking earlier of just how much I wanted to post a new blog but really there's nothing at all going on in my life of interest. Except for school work and maybe skateboarding... There's no stupid drama(which is good) and there's no mind drama even, if you know what I mean. When there's something going on that's really nothing but you think about it so much your mind makes it bigger - none of that.
But I have been listening to the song Don't Worry Now by Britt Nicole lately. If you've never heard of her before and you're bored of all your music, then I would encourage you to at least check her out. I had a bad first impression of her and so I was prejudice of her stuff until my sister bought her CD and I actually got to listen her. She's really good and she's not just all one specific style, which I like. So here's the song, because it's just easier this way (please listen to it now if you don't know it):
Sometimes I make up stories when my life seems boring. Stories that involve me being in tough situations and then just playing out what I would do (in my mind of course). Popular ones and mostly the only ones for me include me getting pregnant either by rape or stupidity and also a death of someone I love, could be anyone even the all inclusive you.
Don't Worry Now talks about her losing her dad. And even though I've never lost anyone I really love yet, and definitely not my dad, something scary happened this past summer with my dad. FYI I love my dad a whole whack of a lot.
It was a nice summer day and I was at a great Christian family camp with my family for a couple weeks. There was another family there too that we're really good friends with too. So this one day, the moms, me, and my friend Josh who's a year older than me went into town to do laundry and hang out for a while. We came back and I think it was his sister Emily who ran up to the van, saying that my dad was acting really weird and he was forgetting stuff.
I was told not to come in, but went in within a short while. And from what I can remember, Melissa, one of our friends, had given my dad a drink of some sort to give to her dad. At some point he lost all his short term memory while we were still out that morning but God had probably saved him some way by giving him a reason to look for his friend and he met up with him and he asked my dad what he was doing. He said he didn't know and at first he thought my dad was joking but soon enough he realized that he wasn't and that something was wrong. My dad was asking things like where my mom was and why she had gone without telling him where she was going (when she had).
So this is where I come in, I'm inside the trailer and I sit beside my dad and start talking with him. (By then we were waiting for a nurse to come by and check him out). He kept saying things like "I feel like I'm coming out of a fog" but really he was in the middle of it, and a few other things I can't remember. He kept asking what day it was, which I remember was Wednesday because he asked so often. A couple times I would ask him what day it was to see if he remembered only a couple minutes later. He'd say, "I don't know, what day is it?" He didn't remember how he was the only one to go for the aldult's night swim the night before and did laps, or how he pushed himself to do 500 pushups that morning (which he found utterly unbelieveable, sort of funny but really not), or the motorcycle ride he went on with my mom and my friend's parents that morning (we actually went out midday for laundry, not morning), or anything the speaker had spoken about that week.
I only felt a slight bit of relief when I asked him if he remembered who I was and he said "yes, of course". But I left pretty soon after that. I went to my friend's trailer and cried by myself while playing what little I knew of guitar. They tried to comfort me saying nice things but nothing really helped. It was so weird seeing him like that, it was like he was there physically but just not there at all as actually himself.
I don't really know what happened after that, he went to the hospital that night. I prayed a lot for him. He just kind of got better over the next day. I think the explanation was it was some kind of mini stroke, not too sure really.
The whole thing really freaked me out for sure. But I'm really so thankful he's ok. Everything's back to normal and I'm really glad we had good friends there for us. It was definitely all God, who is awesome! Things like this make you see just how blessed you are for having what you have, y'know.
As a quick note before signing out, if you do listen to Britt Nicole, the song When She Cries descirbes me almost perfectly at one point in my life. Except there are a few lines that clearly refer to cutting, and I don't cut, but asides from that - it's bang on. If you let me know that you're interested maybe I'll save that for another time... yes I'll definitely share that with you guys some other day when I have nothing to write like today.
Peace!
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
American Idol
Hi. I am graffitigirl and I am wondering: do you watch American Idol?
Each week I'll probably watch a little bit a least. And there is one thing I can tell you for sure, David Archuleta is my favourite. If you don't know who he is then you need to. I think he's 17 and his voice is amazing.
For tonight's show or next week depending on how soon you read this (and all the weeks that follow)... I live in Canada and so I cannot vote, so my good US citizens please vote for David Archuleta - for me. And one thing that bugs me about the show is that they'll let us Canadians donate money for Idol Gives Back but then don't allow us to vote (where's the logic in that?) Do I make my point? I think so. On the plus side, they did end Idol Gives Back with Shout to the Lord! Pretty awesome, it was a big deal for a lot of people. So once again vote for David Archuleta (not Cook, well technically you can if you want...).
Bonus thoughts:
My question of the day for you is have you ever given switching dominant hands any real thought? (ie. right to left, or left to right)
Each week I'll probably watch a little bit a least. And there is one thing I can tell you for sure, David Archuleta is my favourite. If you don't know who he is then you need to. I think he's 17 and his voice is amazing.
For tonight's show or next week depending on how soon you read this (and all the weeks that follow)... I live in Canada and so I cannot vote, so my good US citizens please vote for David Archuleta - for me. And one thing that bugs me about the show is that they'll let us Canadians donate money for Idol Gives Back but then don't allow us to vote (where's the logic in that?) Do I make my point? I think so. On the plus side, they did end Idol Gives Back with Shout to the Lord! Pretty awesome, it was a big deal for a lot of people. So once again vote for David Archuleta (not Cook, well technically you can if you want...).
Bonus thoughts:
My question of the day for you is have you ever given switching dominant hands any real thought? (ie. right to left, or left to right)
Monday, April 28, 2008
Other Things at the Moment
Almost all of my university friends are back home again now, which is so good! They were always here before this year so when they first left it felt like the roof over my head wasn't there anymore. It was weird and kind of hard at first. You just know that you're automatically a leader by the time you get to the eleventh grade, like it or not. Plus, when this school year started I had just come back from a missions trip, which pretty much made it official, no turning back. Not a bad thing but new. And having them back just reminds me of how awesome and unique they all definitely are!
Yesterday I skateboarded all the way home from church. It was awesome but my bearings suck, so I'm getting Bones Reds, the biggest bang for my buck. I hope to learn and get better at tricks too.
Yesterday I also went to a thing called snacs (acronym for Sunday night after church service). We basically sing songs of praise and pray. But last night it was outside and I was only wearing shorts and a T-shirt. My friend Mel (who's house it was at) gave me a sweater cause it was cold. Later on I jokingly asked her for some pants and she got me some. I was playing the drums and I didn't have enough time to get them on all the way between songs so I left them at the top of my thighs but not covering my butt. My shorts were plaid and it pretty much looked like I was wearing my pants really low and wearing boxers. It was really funny and I left it like that on purpose. Well, when else would I ever have that kind of opportunity again, huh? Great stuff. Well that's it.
By the way, I realize I'm writing quite a few of these... so if you're having a hard time keeping up, I understand and I apologize.
Yesterday I skateboarded all the way home from church. It was awesome but my bearings suck, so I'm getting Bones Reds, the biggest bang for my buck. I hope to learn and get better at tricks too.
Yesterday I also went to a thing called snacs (acronym for Sunday night after church service). We basically sing songs of praise and pray. But last night it was outside and I was only wearing shorts and a T-shirt. My friend Mel (who's house it was at) gave me a sweater cause it was cold. Later on I jokingly asked her for some pants and she got me some. I was playing the drums and I didn't have enough time to get them on all the way between songs so I left them at the top of my thighs but not covering my butt. My shorts were plaid and it pretty much looked like I was wearing my pants really low and wearing boxers. It was really funny and I left it like that on purpose. Well, when else would I ever have that kind of opportunity again, huh? Great stuff. Well that's it.
By the way, I realize I'm writing quite a few of these... so if you're having a hard time keeping up, I understand and I apologize.
Monday Night at the Hub
I had a great night tonight. Today's a Monday so I met with the people who are going to Thunderbay with me. I'm pretty sure I've mentioned them at least once before. Tonight we were talking about journaling.
1 Study Notes (Bible)
2 Prayer Journals
3 God Stories
They asked if any of us journaled, and I could say yes because of this blog, although I never actually mentioned it specifically. Prayer journals are cool, I might start one. Talking to God on paper. But the other side of that is that it does take a lot of time, worth it though but still time consuming. Cool things can come of them and the thing about it is that they're so personal and real. Honest too. We were talking about why we wouldn't let people read them and that was one of the reasons. Another reason that I didn't mention at the time was that I would hate to have someone read my deepest most personal thoughts and then knowing those things, have that relationship whereever it is left stagnant or have nothing change. Know what I mean? They would know so much about you and that be it, I don't know if that makes sense. I don't have the right words to say what I mean. We also talked about why we would want to read someone else's and the one reason that I think is most true for me is I would want to know what people think of me, and also just to know what's really going on in my life.
We talked about dreams and I got to tell the one that you guys just got the chance to read now. My friend Jodi guessed that it was Jesus before I even said so! He definitely wasn't trying to hide who he was, that's for sure.
God stories. Everyone get writing what God's doing in your life! I bet one day they'll affect or change someone else in someway. I want to do this more, and I'm not gonna lie I wanna see more of Jesus working in my life!
What we did tonight that was cool. We got to write letters to God and we sealed them and they said that we would would send them to us not for our next birthday but the one after that. That would be my 18th. The whole time I wrote I was just wondering what God show me about the letter in a year's plus time. I tried just writing about what's going on in my life now as a prayer. But even after I had finished I was still thinking of things I could've put in there that I didn't. But I'm excited about that because it's cool. FYI My birthday's the 24th of June, don't forget it.
1 Study Notes (Bible)
2 Prayer Journals
3 God Stories
They asked if any of us journaled, and I could say yes because of this blog, although I never actually mentioned it specifically. Prayer journals are cool, I might start one. Talking to God on paper. But the other side of that is that it does take a lot of time, worth it though but still time consuming. Cool things can come of them and the thing about it is that they're so personal and real. Honest too. We were talking about why we wouldn't let people read them and that was one of the reasons. Another reason that I didn't mention at the time was that I would hate to have someone read my deepest most personal thoughts and then knowing those things, have that relationship whereever it is left stagnant or have nothing change. Know what I mean? They would know so much about you and that be it, I don't know if that makes sense. I don't have the right words to say what I mean. We also talked about why we would want to read someone else's and the one reason that I think is most true for me is I would want to know what people think of me, and also just to know what's really going on in my life.
We talked about dreams and I got to tell the one that you guys just got the chance to read now. My friend Jodi guessed that it was Jesus before I even said so! He definitely wasn't trying to hide who he was, that's for sure.
God stories. Everyone get writing what God's doing in your life! I bet one day they'll affect or change someone else in someway. I want to do this more, and I'm not gonna lie I wanna see more of Jesus working in my life!
What we did tonight that was cool. We got to write letters to God and we sealed them and they said that we would would send them to us not for our next birthday but the one after that. That would be my 18th. The whole time I wrote I was just wondering what God show me about the letter in a year's plus time. I tried just writing about what's going on in my life now as a prayer. But even after I had finished I was still thinking of things I could've put in there that I didn't. But I'm excited about that because it's cool. FYI My birthday's the 24th of June, don't forget it.
Saturday, April 26, 2008
a lesson of trust and contentment
K so I need to be working on a physics project right now but I have this urge to write what I'm going to write. This'll be my last time on here 'til I get it done afterwards.
What I've been learning lately:
I'm starting to realize more how to live for God properly. So many times I've just thought that if something was wrong or wasn't right in my life, well pray about it for sure, but it's like I just had this attitude or way of going about it that was like focus on that thing until it's done with and then move on so you can truly live for God.
But what I'm realizing is that if something comes up, then yes, pray about it. Pray about it a lot if you need to. But what we shouldn't be doing is sitting back like we're paralyzed saying "God, if you can just deal with this thing - then I can live for you properly". Well, there's never going to be a point in our lives where there's nothing going on that needs to be changed or that could be better. So if we let whatever it is that's going on take our focus so much that it begins to rob the attention that God deserves, then that's wrong.
What we should be doing is placing our trust in God, for everything, trusting that he can take care of whatever it is. That's not always gonna be easy but when we do people around are going to see that we're not perfect and that we're depending on God for our needs.
The other thing is that I'm just really content at this moment. And even though x number of this may be going on, I wouldn't trade my situation for somebody else's. And I'm so glad that I have this relationship with Jesus. I can just look at my life and say that I would be utterly hopeless without him!
yggiC (your graffitigirl in Christ)
What I've been learning lately:
I'm starting to realize more how to live for God properly. So many times I've just thought that if something was wrong or wasn't right in my life, well pray about it for sure, but it's like I just had this attitude or way of going about it that was like focus on that thing until it's done with and then move on so you can truly live for God.
But what I'm realizing is that if something comes up, then yes, pray about it. Pray about it a lot if you need to. But what we shouldn't be doing is sitting back like we're paralyzed saying "God, if you can just deal with this thing - then I can live for you properly". Well, there's never going to be a point in our lives where there's nothing going on that needs to be changed or that could be better. So if we let whatever it is that's going on take our focus so much that it begins to rob the attention that God deserves, then that's wrong.
What we should be doing is placing our trust in God, for everything, trusting that he can take care of whatever it is. That's not always gonna be easy but when we do people around are going to see that we're not perfect and that we're depending on God for our needs.
The other thing is that I'm just really content at this moment. And even though x number of this may be going on, I wouldn't trade my situation for somebody else's. And I'm so glad that I have this relationship with Jesus. I can just look at my life and say that I would be utterly hopeless without him!
yggiC (your graffitigirl in Christ)
Friday, April 25, 2008
snails and a baby boy
Hmm... what to blog about.
Well today was pretty good. School was ...pretty much a bore. I've mentioned this to you Sam, that I've been going out behind my backyard lately as a place to be with God. I did that after school today. I actually went for a walk and I found two snails on a stick together. They're pretty interesting creatures the way their eyes come out and all. God made 'em - that's why.
We had a coffee house for youth tonight with some other neighbouring churches. It was oringinally planned to happen a couple weeks ago but our church was vandalized back then. We don't know who did it but they stole stuff, like laptops and tried to wreck the place up a bit. It's all cleaned up now but we haven't gotten back what was lost.
Anyways, tonight was coffee house. There were songs and a message and a lot of hang out time afterwards. Also open mic. I was practising my skateboarding and I'm definitely gonna have a bruise tomorrow on my ankle... Over all really good.
(By the way, I will fight you if you try and tell me that you spell definitely, definately - it's simply wrong! Or I could bet you all your money)
Oh! Earlier this month my English teacher left for maternity leave and she had her son yesterday (April 24, 2008). She named him Jeremy Del Gordon Sebastian. I was thinking about pregnancy the other day, and I was thinking of how cool it would be (if I ever have children) to have something living inside of you. It's almost beautiful... except for the morning sickness and whatever else comes with. The bummer about this whole thing is that I'm definitely not very fond of my new teacher! to say the least.
Toodless
Well today was pretty good. School was ...pretty much a bore. I've mentioned this to you Sam, that I've been going out behind my backyard lately as a place to be with God. I did that after school today. I actually went for a walk and I found two snails on a stick together. They're pretty interesting creatures the way their eyes come out and all. God made 'em - that's why.
We had a coffee house for youth tonight with some other neighbouring churches. It was oringinally planned to happen a couple weeks ago but our church was vandalized back then. We don't know who did it but they stole stuff, like laptops and tried to wreck the place up a bit. It's all cleaned up now but we haven't gotten back what was lost.
Anyways, tonight was coffee house. There were songs and a message and a lot of hang out time afterwards. Also open mic. I was practising my skateboarding and I'm definitely gonna have a bruise tomorrow on my ankle... Over all really good.
(By the way, I will fight you if you try and tell me that you spell definitely, definately - it's simply wrong! Or I could bet you all your money)
Oh! Earlier this month my English teacher left for maternity leave and she had her son yesterday (April 24, 2008). She named him Jeremy Del Gordon Sebastian. I was thinking about pregnancy the other day, and I was thinking of how cool it would be (if I ever have children) to have something living inside of you. It's almost beautiful... except for the morning sickness and whatever else comes with. The bummer about this whole thing is that I'm definitely not very fond of my new teacher! to say the least.
Toodless
Thursday, April 17, 2008
today and a different day (my dream)... basically
Well today was slow but durable. A couple days ago my physics teacher came up to me and was like "You seem like the kind of person that would that would be interested in helping out with an Earth week thing". Well I wasn't really, but I agreed to do it and it turns out I'll get to do some art stuff which is super cool. So today we had a short meeting and we'll be doing that stuff tomorrow. Today was also one of those rare days when I have to walk home, but it was good. My mom decided to come find me when she heard that I had to walk home. She found me and we went to a grocery store where we met my pastor (not her's, my parents go to a different church that my dad's a pastor of). They talked for what seemed like a really long time because my feet got sore. They don't see each other very often. I learned that the missionaries that I got to know when I went to Africa will be here in August, sweet! I love those guys...
So for this story I said I'd tell you yesterday. This is one of the coolest stories of when God's shown up in my life and I'm about to tell you!
About a year ago, I'll find the exact date in a minute or two, but around that time I was insecure about who I was because I was pretty quite then and still am at times (but I'm not insecure about it). My oldest posts here may entail something of how I felt. But basically I wanted for more people to know me and I figured no one could know someone who rarely spoke, so I wanted to be a louder person.
So this one day I went to my dad's youth group instead of my regular group, and I felt really lonely. I was frustrated, easily annoyed, and I had bad headaches to add to that. I cried the whole way home basically, but my dad didn't know that that was why.
The day was Friday March 9, 2007. That night I went to my room and read 1 Corinthians 13 and thought about how God loves me. I was exhausted and went to bed fully clothed afterwards. I had the most amazing dream that night, let me tell you about.
In my dream, I was leaving church and a man came up to me and proposed right there. I had never met him but I said yes anyways. He was an amazing guy and I just always wanted to be with him. At one point in my dream I was really frustrated with my garage door opener and I felt like he was waiting for me so we could go somewhere but he was so patient. My frustration peaked and went to go for hug but he came to me sooner than I could get to him. It was the most intimate hug of my life! It felt like a hole was cut inside my chest and all of my concerns and stresses were covered. I felt this amazing peace and I was just consumed, definitely really cool. There were some other (smaller) awesome things about my dream and the whole deal too.
When I woke up I was praying to God and I was just like "Why would you tease me like that?!" And for a couple minutes I had just come to the conclusion that I wouldn't get married because no guy could be that perfect. My next thought was "That's ridiculous I'm not going to base such a huge decision like that on one dream".
I nearly cried (I'm pretty sure I did) when I heard God whisper to me: "That was me hugging you". There are no words to describe that moment, but you can just imagine.
This is what I wrote as a summary the day after:
"I had the most awesome dream last night (!): Basically this guy came up to me and asked me if I'd like to marry him and we got engaged. (Awesome ring!) I didn't know him but I knew he knew me well. At one point I was feeling frustrated/rotten and I went to him and received the most intimate hug. A tight embrace that conveyed the message 'I love you'. Through out the dream I had the feeling that I was completely wanted (loved)... turns out this guy was God! [Side Note on page: Best Hug I've EVER had]".
Also later that next day, I reread 1 Corinthians 13. I'm not sure exactly what I already wrote about what I was going through at the time but basically I was in this process of figuring out who I was. Now here's 1 Corinthians 13:12(NLT) - "Now we see things imperfectly as in a cloudy mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely." God knows me! - Completely, it's a good thing. Ever since then that verse has been one of my favourties.
So that's the story of my dream. Sorry I took so long to finish this and for it's length. I'm partly putting up so much detail so that later, if I want to read it again I can without forgetting any of the details.
God is awesome, don't ever forget it!
PS I finished the drawing thing, it turned out really nice.
So for this story I said I'd tell you yesterday. This is one of the coolest stories of when God's shown up in my life and I'm about to tell you!
About a year ago, I'll find the exact date in a minute or two, but around that time I was insecure about who I was because I was pretty quite then and still am at times (but I'm not insecure about it). My oldest posts here may entail something of how I felt. But basically I wanted for more people to know me and I figured no one could know someone who rarely spoke, so I wanted to be a louder person.
So this one day I went to my dad's youth group instead of my regular group, and I felt really lonely. I was frustrated, easily annoyed, and I had bad headaches to add to that. I cried the whole way home basically, but my dad didn't know that that was why.
The day was Friday March 9, 2007. That night I went to my room and read 1 Corinthians 13 and thought about how God loves me. I was exhausted and went to bed fully clothed afterwards. I had the most amazing dream that night, let me tell you about.
In my dream, I was leaving church and a man came up to me and proposed right there. I had never met him but I said yes anyways. He was an amazing guy and I just always wanted to be with him. At one point in my dream I was really frustrated with my garage door opener and I felt like he was waiting for me so we could go somewhere but he was so patient. My frustration peaked and went to go for hug but he came to me sooner than I could get to him. It was the most intimate hug of my life! It felt like a hole was cut inside my chest and all of my concerns and stresses were covered. I felt this amazing peace and I was just consumed, definitely really cool. There were some other (smaller) awesome things about my dream and the whole deal too.
When I woke up I was praying to God and I was just like "Why would you tease me like that?!" And for a couple minutes I had just come to the conclusion that I wouldn't get married because no guy could be that perfect. My next thought was "That's ridiculous I'm not going to base such a huge decision like that on one dream".
I nearly cried (I'm pretty sure I did) when I heard God whisper to me: "That was me hugging you". There are no words to describe that moment, but you can just imagine.
This is what I wrote as a summary the day after:
"I had the most awesome dream last night (!): Basically this guy came up to me and asked me if I'd like to marry him and we got engaged. (Awesome ring!) I didn't know him but I knew he knew me well. At one point I was feeling frustrated/rotten and I went to him and received the most intimate hug. A tight embrace that conveyed the message 'I love you'. Through out the dream I had the feeling that I was completely wanted (loved)... turns out this guy was God! [Side Note on page: Best Hug I've EVER had]".
Also later that next day, I reread 1 Corinthians 13. I'm not sure exactly what I already wrote about what I was going through at the time but basically I was in this process of figuring out who I was. Now here's 1 Corinthians 13:12(NLT) - "Now we see things imperfectly as in a cloudy mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely." God knows me! - Completely, it's a good thing. Ever since then that verse has been one of my favourties.
So that's the story of my dream. Sorry I took so long to finish this and for it's length. I'm partly putting up so much detail so that later, if I want to read it again I can without forgetting any of the details.
God is awesome, don't ever forget it!
PS I finished the drawing thing, it turned out really nice.
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