Poetry? Rap? Spoken Word? Anything?

Wow, that last post accumulated a slight bit of attention. I hope the discussion continues on for now. I didn't really know what to expect. Maybe when I look at little more into the subject, delve into the books I'm looking to read, I'll create a separate blog to post my synopses. That could be interesting, and possibly beneficial.

[Note: The books I'm talking about is The Origin of Species by Charles Darwin, The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins, and Signature in the Cell by Stephen C. Meyer. You can guess the topic based on the titles.]

Now, something different for the moment. I love poetry. I am not a poet myself, but I can really appreciate good poetry when I hear it. So have you heard any good poetry lately? Anything?

Let me know. Seriously. Get back to me on this one.

Oh and ... no maybe I'll ask that later.

Anyone interested in evolution?

Anyone interested in evolution? Any experts out there?

I'm a creationist, a firm adherent of ID aka Intelligent Design and I personally know the Bible to be 100% true. Every word.

If you are an evolutionist, a naturalist, whatever you may call yourself - I won't bash you. Honestly. I don't know enough to do that.

If it came to a debate, I would lose because I am not yet educated enough to do that, to make any kind of adequate response. Also, winning a debate doesn't make you wrong or right, it only makes the winner feel good about themselves. Either evolution or ID, is right, it's one or the other, they both can't be true. And whichever one is true (I would say ID), is not determined by the results. Hopefully, this is something we can both agree on. So, I'm not even looking to that kind of thing.

I'm looking to broaden my understanding of both sides. If you are perhaps someone who knows more than your average youtuber who thinks they do, if you're interested in some open discussion, I'd invite you to leave a comment. Maybe we can both benefit from this?

I'm working on a project... take a guess what it's about

So kind of...

I kind of found someone I kind of like on eHarmony. Not the first guy from a couple posts ago, but a different guy. It kind of doesn't mean all that much to me right now, but I kind of like what I see. He's just kind of like me from what I know.

I don't know. *shrugs shoulders casually* We'll see where this goes. We're just emailing right now that's all. Just talking about Jesus and CS Lewis and stuff.

This Little Prism...

Sometimes I feel things, and as a response to these feeling an image comes to mind. Typically, in the past, when these images come to mind, I would try to draw them. That option is still valid; God had indeed given me some artistic abilities. More recently, however, I'm finding it easier to describe these things with words more than anything else.

So bear with me, I'd like to share this one with you.

Whole. Completeness. Authenticity. Should discussion on such topics arise, the probable result as a consensus would be that these are regarded as valued characteristics. There are some who will strongly advocate for these things and attribute them to who they are as people.

I would propose, that if it were possible to study the correlation between the thoughts of such people with their spoken words, a striking discrepancy would become very clear. In fact, every related antonym to the idea would likely hold dominance in actuality.

All this to say that I do not think of myself as the exception. If you're reading this, then you're obviously on my blog, and through that have a perception of who I am. I don't know what that is, and depending on who you are, how long you've been reading my posts, interacting with me, etc, etc - obviously this will cause a variance in your perception from the next person's.

Truth is truth, however, and whatever you're perception - it really doesn't matter when it comes to truth, because truth is true, and that's the way it works. I would like to think, and I hope, that if you're reading this maybe you have a clearer view into the way my mind works as oppose the everyday people I interact with every. day. By that I mean, that I hope you can see through me a little better, that you can see that when I say that I broken and not all together - I mean it.

I haven't even given you a glimpse of this image I have yet, but it starts with the truth that I am a project continually in the works, being restored by Jesus Christ to what I am meant to be. So if I appear broken at times, it's the truth. And the times when I seem whole, it's only by grace.

In my everyday life, however, I don't really think people see this brokenness. Perhaps its a shame, I don't know, but in general I'm probably seen as put-together, maybe never been hurt, doesn't really know pain or sorrow, stuff like that. Some of that may be true.

Here's the image. The sketch I have in my mind: imagine some big [mostly] empty space. Then there's me floating somewhere in the midst of it all, a smallish type prism shape. Maybe like a crystal or something, but somewhat shattered in shards. Some shards are bigger than others, some are smaller, but more or less this prism shape is there.

If you're looking at me from my angle and think I'm whole, don't fool yourself, you're just looking at a big shard. And this little prism doesn't exactly have control over where it's going, yet it keeps going. Its splintered form inspires a sort of fear. The fear is this, 'If I keep going, which I continue to do with no control, sooner or later, I'm gonna have to hit something'. If and when this little prism hits whatever it is that it's going to hit, helplessly, the smaller shards will be revealed.

Knowing that the time will come is bittersweet. I don't know what to expect in the vulnerability of it all. Exposed, not that I prefer to be hidden. It's like my greatest longing and fear all in the same breath and moment. Then what? I can't say.

I think I said I was the prism when I first started to described the scenario. More accurately, I think it would probably symbolize my image, as this is only my portrayal and not true identity. A tainted container, housing but one lonely person.

That's as far as the image goes. Not that I don't have Jesus. He is the great companion, and most definitely not the cause of any loneliness I may feel. Not that I'm a hermit or don't spend time with anyone. Rather that I don't let anyone in.

Honestly, the people who know of my blog are just about the only people who get this kind of access. I am not okay with this, but for the moment this is it. This is a very special place where I can write and say whatever I want or need. So thank you for letting me share this with you.

K, that's it for now I guess.

My Dad.

My Dad, my Dad, my Dad, my Dad. I love him. Possibly the greatest gift I've ever received in this earthly lifetime. Aside from Jesus. And the greatest gift to the both of us, is probably my Mom.

I love him so incredibly I don't know how I could love him more. I don't know what to say. Our motorbike rides together are amazing. Spring is good in that regard. He has such wisdom, and I can see myself in him. I enjoy his company. It's lovely. I love to hug and kiss him (on the cheek). He's fantastic, for me at least, really.

Tell me about your dads, I hope you have as great of dads as I have for myself.

Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy. Okay.... what do I do?

So I signed up for eHarmony last night. I'm of age; I know how to be safe. I figured, what's the worst that could happen?

Well, I don't have a credit card so I can't pay for a subscription just yet, which means that I can review my matches but I can't communicate with them. But now someone has questions for me, and I want to answer. Also, there's a different person, I'd like to send some questions. But the other guy will be waiting for a response. Oh boyy... What have I got myself into? *shakes head*

When my dad gets home I'll ask him if I can use his. I know I can pay him back, I just don't know if he'd approve.

On the site that I doing my banking with, I don't see any reason why I couldn't have my own, but I don't think I make enough money yet annually to do that. Or something like that.

But I don't know what to do!! I really hope my dad says yes. Any thoughts??

Today's alright, you?

I don't like to live by feelings, but today feels good. It's iight, yknow? I feel like that I might survive today, and it's a good thing.

Please keep be praying for me; I still have a lot of growing, changing, and molding to do, and any support you might be able to give in this area is appreciated. It's slow, but by the grace of God it's happening. Praise Jesus!


Oh, and I'm guessing no one noticed, but I recently add the followers thing at the side, because for some reason my blog's getting some attention from - I don't know where, and some of them have decided to follow. Makes no sense to me, but I'm ok with it.

Today, when I logged on I noticed that there was one new follower, and so I clicked on it. I was saddened to see that it was a girl's porn blog. I am strongly against porn, and am looking to the day when it might end. So it is blocked now because I will not have a porn blog linked to mine, but I did send her a message telling her about the pink cross foundation. Please, be both praying for her and the foundation.

Thanks.

I'm discouraged.

Please pray for me.

More Work Done, More to Do

So today, I wasn't scheduled to work and had the day at home to myself. It was so nice!

I spent some time outlining the basics of the living-in-this-world plan: my bedroom, reading the Word, prayer, friends, work, my body, and money. If you want to know more, just ask. Really. I'm just tired and don't care much for the details right now.

I've put some work into my room, getting it organized, still more to do. I started reading a book called Wrestling Prayer by Eric and Leslie Ludy.

And I was wondering, anyone know a good Bible reading plan? I need one.

Lots of work yet to be done, I assure you. If anyone wants to do me a favour, just drop me a line sometime and czech up on how I'm doing.

Peace out.

Faceless.

I started this blog in October of 2007. Since then, I have never had a profile picture. (I have shown pictures of myself, but never a profile picture.) So should I bother to upload one now? Or do you prefer that I remain faceless?

I might disagree with your opinion, whatever is. But either, just remember that the meat is in the written content.

Something Hard

I think I'll be starting something. I think I've decided to call it The Living-in-this-World Plan. I'm not exactly sure what it'll look like or be exactly. But basically, well here's what I've written so far in the blank book I bought today:

THE LIVING-IN-THIS-WORLD PLAN

I won't intentionally take over the world.
Maybe I'll be given the chance to help change it.
Bit I definitely need some strategy to live in it.
So I present this fresh work in progress:
The Living-in-this-World Plan.

Purpose: Time is infinitely valuable and if you don't use it - you lose it. The next 18 months will be a special time of waiting and preparing. Time cannot be wasted. In this interval, I need to have a drive, focus, goals and plans. Most importantly, I need to keep the Main Thing, the main thing.

____

So that's all I have so far, but basically, I'm an adult. Not a kid anymore. I want to be taking on more adult responsibilities and manage better the ones I already have. I want to be a better help to my parents. I want to have a plan with where I'm going with my daily devos. What am I studying? I want to be looking for news ways for which I can be relating to the world. I want to be aware in that. I want to try new things. Hopefully, I'll enjoy them. If not, new things still need to be done so that I might be stretched. I need to have a schedule to for preparing to go to college. I've seriously considered graphic design. Now, I'm thinking I might also look at applying to animation programs as well, and if there's such a thing specifically as a program, perhaps video communications. I'm not exactly sure but it's all with in the same neighbourhood. That all absolutely has to be on track, otherwise, the eighteen months maybe become much more, which would undermine this whole project.

In sum, it's going to mean doing all the small hard things. Hard things need to be done. It's the difference that separates an adult from a child and there really should be no in-between. Once I get in the habit of doing the small hard things, the big things will come next.

Everything needs to be more clearly defined. I'd to get that done by tomorrow - the latest Thursday. I also need accountability. If you could pray that someone in my life could help hold me to this, you know I'll love you. I already do but, just sayin'. I've got work ahead of me, and I'm looking forward to it because I know it's the best thing for me.

Peace out, til the next post.

Youtube? What is that?!

So, how are things.


So when I'm bored I often find myself on the computer. The Internet. Sometimes eBay. Sometimes, on rare occasions, Facebook. Sometimes Neopets, perhaps? I do some Skyping a bit. I dunno.

And obviously, I blog. Now if you're reading this you know what that's all about and that I'm quite into it. I've got this regular thing going on where every once and a while I'll type something and a blurb pops up of varying degrees of value.

My question then is, do any of you take an interest in vlogging? Hmm? Vlogs. Like doing what I'm doing now, but instead I would film myself talking to a camera about whatever. It's more open. Sometimes "communities" can form, I've heard. (As can happen with regular blogging, like I've experienced.)

One of my favourites is Strawburry17, along with the other VlogCandy members, though I'm not a huge fan of VlogCandy itself.

A year or two ago, I watched a video on how to solve a Rubik's cube by Pogobat a.k.a. Dan Brown. I can solve one now, but have recently revisited his videos. I like them, they're more focused than those of other channels. You'd have to see them to know what I mean but I like them.

There seems to be a few elite on Youtube who manage to create videos and attract a following. I suppose in that sense that would make a follower. I hate that, but if that's how it is, then that's how it is.

For my last birthday, my eighteenth, I asked for a video camera. Honestly, I haven't really utilized it yet. But I would still like too. Plus, I got a tripod for Christmas, so I better get to it sometime. (Heheh, just like that skateboard I got for my fifteenth.... I use that sometimesss).

But here's what I'm trying to say. The Internet is probably, definitely actually, the most prominent, characterizing, defining thing of this age. I'm sure it's influence must be exponential, growing everyday, and I want to be a part of that. Add something. Youtube is huge, and for anyone who has something to say, I think there's a place. So if there's one for me, I'd like to find it. That is if I can bring something original. Maybe.

I think that leaves me with a camera and a fantasy... Tools I'm untrained with. Yet to be discovered and learned. For another day, hopefully not too far off.

hmmph... can you relate to any of this?

Well, I didn't post anything this Sunday. So I suppose I'll write something now.

Really, my life is fairly boring most of the time. What to write...

Do you know that there's a girl in my mind that I imagine I might like being? That is if I were someone different from myself. A very nerdy, simple girl. I imagine her spending lots of time in the library just learning. Someone who likes to write. Like - a lot. More than I ever have, and she dreams of writing a book to which I could relate. A regular person, as far as I am regular. Maybe someone like me would be a main character. And in those pages, my mind and thoughts might be more beautifully verbalized and explained. Almost poetry, but not quite leaving the realm of prose. Perhaps if such a book were written, an understanding of the usual could be revealed through the things unsaid. The day to day happenings might let what is raw be seen.

The cover would be very plain, just the title on the side. Nothing to attract you to it. Yet, if someone should find it, a treasure would lie inside, waiting to be found.

(Yuck, I'd hate to think I just made a metaphor for myself.)

Simply put, I like the idea of being a big reader. But I have yet to find a book to which I can relate. To a certain extent, I can't help but think that whether fiction or not, it would be a waste of time to read and not have your thinking changed in some way.

I'm hooked on reality. I'm hooked on soberly building relationships and getting to know someone's 'character', if you will. Yet, there's still a longing to escape because the people in my life seem to just remain faces, rather than thinking persons with their own history, directions and passions. And once again, I'll come to the place where I can say I'm stuck. So that's all the conclusion you get out of me for now. I'm stuck and I have nothing else to add to that. Lest I should say something after this....

Nope. Well, actually I'll leave you with this: I'm stuck but I still hope.