Still to do
-perform a well thought out spoken word poem.
-get into the practice of videoing life
-make use of the gifts I've been given
-learn to do good cartwheels (or even semigood ones)
-visit at least five of the states, at once if possible
-live in the city for a year, or maybe just six months... we'll see
-support the pink cross foundation as in seriously join it or something
ok, so it's in progress, but I just wanted to get it started tonight.
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Sunday, January 24, 2010
someone simply pleasant
this weekend was c&c snocamp weekend. very refreshing. like one new breath of good air.
now this weekend. at c&c. there was a band. a band i would say is too popular to be playing at a weekend thing like this was, but they were there. i won't tell you who they were. i'll keep that a secret for myself. i'll give you a hint though, they've been touring with the newsboys lately. maybe that gives you an idea of where they're going.
one very cool thing about them is that, i would say, they are very down to earth. yesterday when dinner was more or less coming to an end. i took my orange juice and went over to their table where they were sitting and got to hang out with them a bit.
they also had orange juice of their own. so i think of that time as having an orange juice with them. y'know, we were having an orange juice together, and then i spilt mine of course. how embarrassing. the bassist who i was sitting beside helped me clean it up. it was a little funny.
after that point, he and i talked for a while. it was so simple. he was just so good to talk with. it's not like we spoke as if we had always known each other but it was just good. so good. like he's the kind of guy i'd want to get to know and be best friends with. i heart him. i really, really liked him. i have no way of practically reaching him again now. unless i want to be a creeper and go to the their next concert.
and i could've had my picture taken with him yesterday. i didn't though because a lot of people were and i felt like it wouldn't be special in someway, plus i figured i could get one today. but things don't always work that way. it's like my biggest regret of the weekend now, but i suppose that's ok.
it's not even like anything of significance happened. it's just he made me smile. even when i think of him now. i don't know. i just know i wish someone like him could be a part of my life. *sigh* so i'll wait. at least he gives me hope. in some sweet, innocent kind of way. maybe even some naive way, i just love him. and i simply had to write something to that point here. sorry. <3 this makes me sound like i'm five. what can you do.
now this weekend. at c&c. there was a band. a band i would say is too popular to be playing at a weekend thing like this was, but they were there. i won't tell you who they were. i'll keep that a secret for myself. i'll give you a hint though, they've been touring with the newsboys lately. maybe that gives you an idea of where they're going.
one very cool thing about them is that, i would say, they are very down to earth. yesterday when dinner was more or less coming to an end. i took my orange juice and went over to their table where they were sitting and got to hang out with them a bit.
they also had orange juice of their own. so i think of that time as having an orange juice with them. y'know, we were having an orange juice together, and then i spilt mine of course. how embarrassing. the bassist who i was sitting beside helped me clean it up. it was a little funny.
after that point, he and i talked for a while. it was so simple. he was just so good to talk with. it's not like we spoke as if we had always known each other but it was just good. so good. like he's the kind of guy i'd want to get to know and be best friends with. i heart him. i really, really liked him. i have no way of practically reaching him again now. unless i want to be a creeper and go to the their next concert.
and i could've had my picture taken with him yesterday. i didn't though because a lot of people were and i felt like it wouldn't be special in someway, plus i figured i could get one today. but things don't always work that way. it's like my biggest regret of the weekend now, but i suppose that's ok.
it's not even like anything of significance happened. it's just he made me smile. even when i think of him now. i don't know. i just know i wish someone like him could be a part of my life. *sigh* so i'll wait. at least he gives me hope. in some sweet, innocent kind of way. maybe even some naive way, i just love him. and i simply had to write something to that point here. sorry. <3 this makes me sound like i'm five. what can you do.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
I just realized...
I just realized that this evening, when I came to post something new, I was really only going to end up posting something old. Anything I could write would only be reiterating my last post. But more strongly. I am hurting deeply; this heartache is paining me.
It's one of those Sunday things lately I guess. And I guess this really just means that things aren't well but I don't know what to do about it.
A little while ago, emailed my pastor saying something that had my last post at the heart of it, though it was less revealing of my thoughts. I haven't heard back from him yet. Basically, there is a deep lack of fellowship in my life right now and it's absolutely killing me.
But let's not be mistaken. God's grace is here, and I know it. I can see it even in the small things. Just like the way I was able to have a really good laugh this evening. Thank you.
It's one of those Sunday things lately I guess. And I guess this really just means that things aren't well but I don't know what to do about it.
A little while ago, emailed my pastor saying something that had my last post at the heart of it, though it was less revealing of my thoughts. I haven't heard back from him yet. Basically, there is a deep lack of fellowship in my life right now and it's absolutely killing me.
But let's not be mistaken. God's grace is here, and I know it. I can see it even in the small things. Just like the way I was able to have a really good laugh this evening. Thank you.
Sunday, January 10, 2010
I'm going to clean my room today.
I probably shouldn't be writing now as this computer is continually a distraction, and there are things that need to be done. However, this continues to be the place where I can leave my thoughts.
I've commented on this a little before, so I'll just say this that I guess I've just entered in to that stage of life when some of my peers are getting married. And it's a little weird, especially considering that I found out today that the guy I sort of liked half a year ago is now engaged. I'm actually really happy for him though because I'm sure she's absolutely a jewel.
Now, what's really on mind is the church. As it always, whether I feel like I've got my Christian walk on or off, as I suppose the alternative is. I just have this dream, this vision, of how wonderful things could be if we just lived as though we actually were one. Not that it would make life any less difficult. It seems like whenever I'm not doing well I never have anyone to share my difficulties with and it hurts.
A church should be less about the events and activities that it does and be more focused. We're supposed to live a life of worship to this God who authored the only true good news. That good news of Jesus Christ alive is the foundation for which we are to build our whole lives on, and out that should come this attractive lifestyle of love. It's supposed to be lived together but I'm just not seeing it. It's hurts that this isn't what I see but hope needs to be held out.
Right now, I feel very disconnected. It is a grace that I can count people in my mind who I can talk with about this. And even further a grace, that they would mostly likely understand what I'm trying to say.
Should anyone read this, doesn't matter when, who has a relationship with Jesus, please pray over this matter. Pray for local churches that are visible to their communities and who testify as a witnesses to the gospel. Pray that the church would be devoted to knowing God's Word and upholding it as truth because in it there is salvation. Pray that the church would continue to learn to love its members like Jesus loves his bride, and that through this many would come to know Jesus as Lord. Amen.
K, now I'll start simple by just getting in to the Word, cleaning my room and just maybe I'll snack on something in between. I'll try and post something if there's any news on this topic but that's it for now. Peace.
I've commented on this a little before, so I'll just say this that I guess I've just entered in to that stage of life when some of my peers are getting married. And it's a little weird, especially considering that I found out today that the guy I sort of liked half a year ago is now engaged. I'm actually really happy for him though because I'm sure she's absolutely a jewel.
Now, what's really on mind is the church. As it always, whether I feel like I've got my Christian walk on or off, as I suppose the alternative is. I just have this dream, this vision, of how wonderful things could be if we just lived as though we actually were one. Not that it would make life any less difficult. It seems like whenever I'm not doing well I never have anyone to share my difficulties with and it hurts.
A church should be less about the events and activities that it does and be more focused. We're supposed to live a life of worship to this God who authored the only true good news. That good news of Jesus Christ alive is the foundation for which we are to build our whole lives on, and out that should come this attractive lifestyle of love. It's supposed to be lived together but I'm just not seeing it. It's hurts that this isn't what I see but hope needs to be held out.
Right now, I feel very disconnected. It is a grace that I can count people in my mind who I can talk with about this. And even further a grace, that they would mostly likely understand what I'm trying to say.
Should anyone read this, doesn't matter when, who has a relationship with Jesus, please pray over this matter. Pray for local churches that are visible to their communities and who testify as a witnesses to the gospel. Pray that the church would be devoted to knowing God's Word and upholding it as truth because in it there is salvation. Pray that the church would continue to learn to love its members like Jesus loves his bride, and that through this many would come to know Jesus as Lord. Amen.
K, now I'll start simple by just getting in to the Word, cleaning my room and just maybe I'll snack on something in between. I'll try and post something if there's any news on this topic but that's it for now. Peace.
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