FYI - Moving to Tumblr

Blogspot, you've been good to me. But I think it's time to move on. Because that's what everyone else is doing, and you haven't even made an effort to keep up with the times... So sorry.

Unless I should change my mind, I'm hopping over to the Tumblr. Here's my address: stephaniemichellewright.tumblr.com. Cheers!

Dream Epiphany 1: Hope

May 17, 2015

In the last few days, I have been struck by epiphanies as I sleep. I’ll share the first one for this post: Hope creates. Where there is longing, the thing or end desired comes alive so that as one hopes, one creates. That doesn’t necessarily mean that longings immediately (or ever) materialize, but where there is yearning, when hope is strong like rock (as true hope is), a certain reality joins those desires so that something is created in hope.

Not only that, but hope creates the means to pursue the end; it clarifies the directions needed to take or try to see that the longings do, in time, find their existence. In this case, hope fuels the creation of its ends with the tenacity to see them through.

Finally, the death of hope most confirms the idea that hope creates. When hope is lost, the heart mourns. Hope takes the whole of one’s being. Hoping is when you’re banking the whole of your life on a veiled answer, waiting for it to arrive finally in your hands. We can hope for trivial things, but I’m thinking here about the things that are much greater. Longing for relations to improve between you and a loved one, persevering to reach graduation day at last, holding out for someone who would make a good spouse, waiting for the Lord’s provision, waiting for acceptance to do a certain kind of work, for certain things to get better in the church, etc. If for any reason, one feels there is no longer reason to hope for the thing desired, real loss ensues. When hope dies, something real inside also shatters. Because the loss is real, the thing hoped for must also be real as well.

Proverbs 13:12 tells us, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life.” If you’ve experienced this kind of deferral, then you know that it’s real. But this verse ends with reason to hope. “[A]nd hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.” (Romans 5:5). Hope finds its anchor in Jesus, since we know that the character of God’s purpose is unchangeable (Hebrews 6). We have real hope in God. Let it be to the creation and pursuit of desires that are in accord with the purpose of his heart and mind.

The Pianist

May 12, 2015

Dear Friends,

Hopeful melodies fill my house. This is its design. The pianist plays from above; those of us below receive its gift. How wonderful!

The playful music fills one’s soul with cheer. The world is all right tonight. Maybe it shouldn’t seem so but in this moment the crashing waves are kept at bay. I have One in whom I can trust. And so I find my lungs expand with breath. Can one complain in such a moment as this? No, no, certainly not.

Your fingers tell a better story than your lips. Your mind is one of great creativity; I wish I could see inside. I wish I could know your thoughts as you play. Call me up to you. Include me as a stepping note in your song. Let me dance in the life you give. That’s where I want to be.

Let joy light the fire. Let laughter erupt from the overflow. The rest will be all right.

My mind on a platter, 

Stephanie

Inconvenient

May 10, 2015

My whole world has been changing so much lately. Much more quickly than I would prefer but still changing at the right and necessary pace given the circumstances of this transitional period. In the midst of the changes happening around me, I find that there are also inconveniences. Two in particular are my mind, though there may be several others.

The first of these is the inconvenience of learning more about myself. Lately, I have specifically been learning about my need for intimacy. This need was doubly confirmed, on top of the emotional highs and lows that I’ve had, when I was reading a chapter from the book Friend Raising. Apparently, it’s one of the greatest human needs. Mother Teresa is even reported to have said that loneliness was the greatest human problems. And she’s seen a lot.

It’s inconvenient to find that I need people in my life, especially close personal relations with others, when I find myself in a new town with no close friends yet. Then, there’s the tension of having to leave again soon. So whatever people I get to know in the time I have, I know that I won’t be able to remain in close connection forever, even if I do return with regularity.

The other inconvenience on my mind is that I’ve decided to quit drinking coffee, maybe forever. But at least for a month. I only drink it moderately, usually only a cup or two a day. Still, I’ve found that lately I’ve used it just to keep me going, and I’ve only felt more drained. It may just be one factor in a whole host of things that need correction in my life, but it’s at least one place I can start. So I’ve decided to let myself have a break and let my body reset itself.

I think that that decision will be worthwhile when my body starts to find and create its own natural energy more freely. Until then, this is an untimely inconvenience, but still necessary. These two things, learning the need for intimacy by name, and the work of resetting the body, I find extremely inconvenient at a time when I have other seemingly more important things to be doing but they’re right. It’s right, even if the timing’s inconvenient, to get things in order – if such a thing could ever be possible. And I’m really, really thankful that there’s grace in all of this. So much grace. I would break to pieces without God’s gentleness walking with me, but he is good. I’m very thankful, for grace and for the grace of inconveniences.

Distress of Discontent

Dilemma strikes again.
Posing questions to cyberspace.
Many answers to return.
None breathes life.
They offer no intelligence.

Do I ask, as though to pray?
This time I will not.
But the God above, instead to seek.
Who will hear my cry?
Who will see the anguish?

Nothing is right,
I feel inside.
Friends, are you so satisfied?
Discontent encroaches all around.
Who is the one blind to see?

Is the call not greater than busyness?
Is redemption only individual,
With no further implications?
If we should gather,
What is our purpose?

If I come to sit, and hear a little,
Then leave alone, the way I came.
Is that all it takes to satisfy?
Do those motions make you smile?
Am I the only one who sees the flaw?

The flaw I see but solution, not.
I cannot show the rage I feel.
For who would hear a lacking smile?
Does change ever come bottom-up?
Perhaps this is not my place.

Still, I must survive.
Seeking a heart of warmth.
But until exposed, then addressed,
Should the poison surge abiding?
Send the doctor, please, be quick.