Here I Am

Lion kept in cage.
Tigger, wanting to pounce and play.
Me-at my desk-can't get out.
Trapped in sanity.
Let out the growl.
Can't get out.

Written on March 13, 2014
By Stephanie Wright



Writer's Memo (March 27, 2014):

I wrote this a little while ago but didn't post it immediately because it didn't really seem done enough at the time and I didn't have any time to expand on it. However, looking at it again in my drafts, I see that it doesn't just reflect a momentary feeling but rather something ongoing as I push toward the end of this semester. I felt it deserved to posted to make record of the struggle that I feel, even though the poem seems undone.

Honest

If I'm honest,
I find value in honesty.

I want to be vulnerable.
I want to share.

I want to be loved.
I want to be accepted.

I want to love.
I want to accept others.

I don't want to hurt.
I don't want to open up to hear one more good-bye.

But I want to be honest.
So I tell you how I am.

You are kind and you listen.
You pray for me.

You will leave me,
Because you must.
Or I will leave you.

Still I will share,
Because I find value in honesty.

I'll put my mask in the free box,
Hoping no one picks it up.

With Chapman I pray, "Lord, please take all of me.
And fill me up with your love!"

To be abandoned unto Christ,
To give fully to him everything.

Let me love sincerely.
Love freely and openly.

Let the heartbreak come,
For I know I am braced in you.

Let me love sincerely.
Love freely, openly.

________________________
Written by Stephanie Wright
March 12, 2014

Not Original

It's not original.
It's. Not. Original.
It's just not.

Please -

I threw it to the fire.

Here's a new scroll.
Start again.

It's not original.
That I'm.
Here.

But why the obsession?
Who are you trying to please?

The imagery -
Cliché.
The simplicity -
Boring.
The rhythm -
Nonexistent.

So what?
I don't care to hear another word.








OK. So then I'll speak to the wall.
Because I haven't even begun.
Haven't even begun to tell you,
It's not the words that I care for.
But the thing they represent.

Where I am is not original.
And I don't want original.
Original - that's not a universal value, is it?

Because if it's not original,
Then maybe it's common.
Something people share in common.

You mean like how we both need food?
You order the pizza,
Then we'll share that in common.

No...
I don't think you understand.

Our work held in common;
The strain of tenacity unoriginal.
The question of perseverance endures.
Something that we share,
Each answer comes discretely.
Unoriginal but individual.
Discrete 'yes' joins the collective...

Well, if you don't want pizza -

I do.

_________
Written by Stephanie Wright
March 11, 2014

Not Alone

The war wages:
The fight of a mother giving birth.
A king fighting for the arrival of his kingdom.
Let the fruition of her travail not be stillborn.
Let the enemy not triumph in battle.
Let a new day come.

Written by Stephanie Wright
March 11, 2014

Stubborn

The Canadian hope for a new Spring day arises fresh within.
Rises against reason.
Rises stubbornly.

I'll wear sweater without coat while the snow still towers high.
Wear Birkenstocks through the slush, though it makes me slip.

I am a stubborn person -
Don't you know?
I am a stubborn person -
And yes, I get myself in trouble.

LORD, teach me perserverance, focus, discipline.
How to work steadfast and with joy.
Till the end.
Even now, I'm nothing without you.
Even now.

Written by Stephanie Wright
March 9, 2014

Following You

You only know you love Him when you let the world go.
You only know you love Him when you let the world go.
And you let it go.

March 8, 2014

Close

Close as the blanket the covers me,
          You are near.
And you whisper:
          "I love you. I'm not going to leave you."


Written by Stephanie Wright
March 5, 2014