At certain times in my life, there seems to be moments of decisions or turning points. I'm a fourth year Bible college student working toward my B.A. in Applied Linguistics: TESOL. After this I will have one semester left before graduating. But can I share that I question where it's all heading?
I joined the TESOL program with the intention of going overseas, to serve as a Christian English teacher, sharing Christ through my life in whatever cultural, societal context I should end up in. TESOL opens doors to virtually any country in the world. But I'm finding more and more that my heart is being stirred for my own country of Canada. Honestly, it feels really confusing for me.
I am acutely aware that Canadian culture, along with North American culture in general, is essentially as individualistic as a culture can be. I am far from the exception to this rule but I'm also very drawn to learning what it means to do life in community, especially through church discipleship and through church relations. (Hence, the preceding posts about the Catholic church and my relation to it.)
As for discipleship, practical, healthy discipleship at work, I don't know that I've ever really seen this worked out in a "church" setting yet. The closest I've ever seen has probably been in my involvement through serving at Joe's Place Youth Centre in Moose Jaw. It's a Christian organization but its aim is to serve all and any youth that come through their doors. The staff and volunteers have become family. It's not exclusive to any one denomination and it provides the opportunity for volunteers to grow in their faith and unity as they pray for the youth and serve the city of Moose Jaw. Joe's Place staff and volunteers are not inward focused but seek to actively be involved in changing the lives of youth in Jesus' name, for his glory.
This is something I've actually seen happen. Take my friend DR. The first memory I have of her in 2010, before even meeting her, was the one night when my friend Jerred asked everyone to write her cards of encouragement while she was away for drug rehab.
There's been lots of ups and downs since then but she's grown so much in her faith and in her maturity since then that she's actually now serving as a volunteer and has a really beautiful heart that longs for God and the things that are good. Her journey's not done yet (neither is mine) but she's one example that I can point to and say there's been real fruit in this work.
I think that's part of discipleship, when godly people come together with a shared vision and are work towards it, like seeing lives changed. But I won't be in the Moose Jaw area for much longer. I want to engage a church, be a part of it; I want to join and commit to church and grow with them in what it means to disciple and be discipled. It's the kind of thing I want to commit my life to. But I ask myself, 'To what end?' What's the purpose in that?
Well, this semester I've been taking a course called "The Church and the Kingdom" with David Guretzki. I expect that it will be one of the most impacting courses that I've taken at Briercrest. It's a lot more political than I was expecting but it really addresses the Church's role in witnessing to the State. Not just presently but as the two have related throughout history in various cultural and political contexts.
In an email to him, I wrote, "I don't want to overstate anything, but I think it [the course] has the potential to be life changing." I say this because it relates to the gospel, the good news. On one level, I would describe the gospel as the beautiful truth that for those of us who put our faith in Christ Jesus, who trust that he died in our place for sin, we get to share in the sweet acceptance that Jesus has before the Father, because his obedience was perfect and not lacking in any way, even to the point of dying on a cross. He was buried and brought back to life on the third day according to the Scriptures. He gives everlasting life to those who believe in him. He is pleasing fragrance before God and the one in whom the Father's delight is complete. This same pleasureful acceptance that he has before God the Father is what all Christians have for themselves as they stand in Christ. God is happy with with his people because of Jesus! It's amazing! Because without him, approaching God would be unthinkable. I'd be a bloody corpse at best before God without Christ. But that's not the case any longer because of what Jesus has done for me and for his Church.
That's one way of describing the gospel. There are probably better ways to say it and the full story is much richer (read the Bible as a whole), but in nugget form that's how would say it for now. And it's something to celebrate. And to share, which is why people become evangelists and missionaries, to tell them about this good news. Still, something isn't quite complete in all that. Some people choose to make sharing the gospel their full time work (and I really admire them). It's worth doing, for sure, but I find myself asking, 'When they share about this gospel of ours, when we share it in whatever we do, what is the greater ultimate call of that gospel?'
If someone were to reply that new Christians should simply imitate those who bring them to Christ (assuming them to be the full-time evangelists and missionaries), then it would mean more people the same task of evangelizing. But what if their efforts were to be 100% successful? What if everyone in the whole world were to become Christian? Then what? Who would be left to convert? What would we do in the mean time before Christ's return if he decided not to return right then and there?
The point in asking these questions is that we need to (I need to) be thinking about what more the gospel calls us to. While I'm sure there are lots of ways to answer this question biblically, the answer that I'm currently processing is what it means to "seek first the kingdom of God" (Matt 6:33) as I've been learning about it this semester. And what I so desperately want to do is graduate so I can go out into the "real world" and start asking questions. To learn how to practice what it means for the Church as a whole to witness in the society in which she exists, to train up disciples to be this witness in every aspect of our living and breathing. And yes, for some that will mean going places overseas to share the gospel.
But that can't be for everyone. Not that it isn't or can't be for me but there comes a point of realizing that if everyone is called to go, then who is to stay? It doesn't make sense logically for everyone to go. Who will be the godly men and women who will stay and contribute to and build up society?
It's crazy how much change our postmodern world is going through these days. The Internet has literally only been around for 25 years. In comparison with the scope of history, that's nothing. We've already come so far in this short time and we can't even imagine - we can't even imagine - how different things will be just a hundred years from now.
Society as a whole is also very liberal; "we can be whoever we want, do whatever we want." Makes me sick. No responsibility, no accountability, no call to grow up into mature adulthood. But yolo. Stars like Miley Cyrus are just the mouthpieces for what society as a whole teaches us... (And what is their reward for selling that business? Riches really shouldn't be enough to lose your dignity to that extent. I don't just mean how sexual everything's become but more than that, that people would give up their privilege of being able to think clearly for themselves about what matters most for the next generation - becoming unenlightened as it were.)
Anyway, my beef's really not with Miley or any pop star for that matter (they can do what they want) but it is a crazy world that we live in and it is changing quickly. In light of this, the Church needs to work through some questions seriously. Like, 'How is the Church supposed to live in response to these changes? Will she assimilate and become accepting of everything we're told to think? Or will she stand it stark contrast to it?' And more importantly, 'How?' Because the point isn't for the Church to judge the world but it is to call it to what it was made to be in Christ.
It almost becomes a philosophical discussion, and rightly so perhaps, but it also needs to take shape in our practices as well. At this point, I really don't know what that means but what I'm trying to figure out is what my role can be in all of it. And how TESOL fits with it all... Teaching English is a valuable way to contribute in Canadian society, that's for sure - I just don't know how to care about stuff like phonology when these deeper questions are on my mind. It's like looking at sand when I want to study the stars.
Well, that's where I'm at in my life-thinking these days. Kind of stuck. Impatient to see what the next stage will hold. Struggling to sustain motivation for the tasks that are directly in front of me... But to try and end on a more hopeful note, I know that this is all a journey. Thankfully, I'm not graduating yet so I still have more time to think carefully on these things and to pray, of course. And hopefully I'll actually be able talk these things through with people who are wiser than me (not just post them on some blog for general reading).
Guess that's it for now. Keep you posted (maybe). And if you actually made to the end of all this, thanks for reading. You're a true friend.
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