Just now, I've just been in a quiet, reflective mood. It's cool, I really love it when it happens. Times like these often become prayer full and quite intimate with God. Sigh, sometimes I wish I could just be in Heaven so I could get that much more intimate with God.
I don't know if you've ever even thought of this, but I really think that in Heaven things between us and God aren't just going to be intimate spiritually but also physically. I mean, how many times does he talk about the church being the bride. And isn't it when man and wife have sex that they become one flesh? And why would God create something that cool just for this earthly, sin-filled life? What about books like Hosea, and chapters like Ezekiel 16? I don't know if it's true but that's my opinion. And what about the people who never get married and choose to honour God by never giving themselves away. Do they miss out completely?
I'm not gonna lie, it's not that rare a thing for me to wonder what it'll be like one day when I get married. I think it's pretty hard not to, seriously. I think us virgins are in for a big, mind-blowing surprise! I don't think there's anything I wouldn't be willing to try at least once, as long as I won't be getting hurt in the process (and definitely not my future husband). Just being honest.
And of everything I've ever read about it, I think the Song of Songs describes the whole thing quite explicitly. I think it talks about a longing for each other, especially when they're apart. And then there's that whole passage about sheep and a neck like a tower. I don't know what that's all about but I think it's a complement. It's the same thing that camps will sometimes make guys say it to girls for fun because it's hard to say without laughing. I want to be longed for, for my future spouse to cherish eveything I am inside and out.
And there's things I would want to ask any strong Christian married couple if the chance ever came up. I don't mean graphic detail, I don't want to know that. No pornographic stories for me, there are too many movies for that stuff. I'll hopefully find out one day for myself. I wonder things like what does a good sex life in a marriage look like? I always hear "save yourself for marriage, you won't regret it", but you never hear what's on the other side. Is anybody out there in the same boat as me?
Anyways, I'll stop there. But I guess this would be an appropriate time to mention the purity vow that I made almost a year ago now. Three days before my 16th birthday I wrote this (June 21, 2007):
Alright Jesus, so this is my VOW. I promise to you that I will not give away my purity. Never. Not to any boyfriend I ever have. I will only give myself to my future husband. I think that hand holding is ok. All the kissing , making out, touching, feeling, playing around, foreplay, sex and everything else I'm saving for marriage. Please help me to honour and keep this vow. I can't do it on my own strength. But "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" Philippians 4:13. As a reminder of this vow to You I wear a ring that I'm calling my purity ring. In Your holy name alone I make this vow, signed my name.
That is the vow that I'm still keeping. Saving kissing for the altar, hardcore, that's what I'm talking about! I'm not wearing a ring right now though because I bought two wooden rings in Africa and they both broke because I never took them off. Anybody want to send me a gift in the mail for my 17th? I knew it at the time when I wrote this, that I was promising to save a lot, basically everything. But I'm still realizing just how much it really is. So that verse is gonna be pretty important. I dress modestly too, as you may have guessed, so as not to lead any boys on. Now you can say you know what goes on in my head.
3 comments:
you are not alone sister! I have often thought about the same things. I am also saving myself for marriage and so far its been very rewarding and I know that when I do find the man God has for me (he's already sorta told me, long story) and we both wait for our wedding nigt, I'm pretty sure it will be the best day of my life! It's kinda weird to think about but God did create us that wey after all :)
I think that we will find our answers in our own experiences though it would be nice to have someone to ask! I have often thought about it but would be too embarassed to ask, you know?
Thank you for the comment dear. Praying for you!
~standing on His Promise~
CaseyMay
what a wonderful honest post. God did make us to long for and cherish our husbands and wives physically, emotionally, etc. i believe that is why He ordained sex to be ONLY experienced within the confines of marriage, because He created it to be THAT bonding and powerful and perfect! it's not something to just be thrown away on just any old body, but the one you have committed your life to forever (your hubby or wife).
i commend you and caseymay and every other teen who has pledged their purity until marriage - you are rare jewels in this world and wonderful examples to all the young men and women out here. God honors that so much and i know He will give you all the strength to endure temptations and naysayers. you all can be a support to each other as well, because you'll meet some guys who will NOT understand your commitment to the Lord. having friends who have made that same vow will help you through those experiences.
if i may be transparent for a minute, my virginity is one thing i wish i had held onto and that i wish i could go back in time and retrieve. it's just THAT precious and i miss it, lol. and i knew how much of a gift it was back then and still gave in to the temptation. it's hurtful to think about sometimes, but i know that even out of our sins, God can bring some good. one good is that i can help other young women because i've been there and back. i've been celibate now for years and let me tell you, it ain't always easy sista. and i have had a few guys stop seeing me after i let him know that my body belongs to the Lord and only Him until i get married - even some who are supposed to be Christians! and that hurts a lot, but i rejoice in knowing that a: those kinds of guys are not for me; and b: that the Lord will honor my commitment to Him and will strengthen me.
i hope God leads you to a Christian married couple with whom you feel comfortable talking about marital sex life. physical intimacy within a marriage is important to God (the Bible says that when two are married, the wife's body belong to her husband, and his body belongs to his wife). talking to a married couple could be very important in helping to shape your expectations and answer any questions you may have. i wish i were married and could help you out on that, 'cause i'm not shy at all when it comes to discussing intimate things, LOL. but i hope you do find a couple to talk to.
i will be praying for you all and your vows for purity! and i'll be praying that your commitment to the Lord be an inspiration to other young men and women who know you, who may read your blogs, or who you may meet in the future. not a lot of people are able to keep their vows when it comes to sexual purity (at my age, the word "virgin" is a rarity!). but nothing is impossible with God and i love to see more and more people standing up for Him and giving their bodies to the Lord until marriage. it's such a blessing and i don't doubt that God will use you all in a wonderful way.
Amen sista! (I've missed so many of your posts, like woah! Where was I? Hehe)
I'm waiting until marriage as well and sometimes I just want someone to tell me that it is SO worth the wait. I mean, I know that it is, but it would be nice to know someone can confirm it.
But at the same time we just have to trust in God, because His ways are THE ways and they are perfect :)
Your vow is fantastic :D I know that Casey and I both wear purity rings too. They are good reminders of what we have waiting for us probably within a mere 5 or 10 years. Plus I figure that once I'm actually in a relationship and I'm tempted to cross the line I can look at my ring and remember my decision :D
Love the post girly!!
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