The past two days in my Bio class I dissected a pig (sorry if that grosses you out). Pretty interesting, I did all the hands on stuff because the other two girls in my group didn't want to. My favourite parts were cutting open the stomach and holding and cutting the pig's heart in half. I wish there was a cool way to allude to Snow White.
I think I was just exhausted yesterday or something. I walked home yesterday which I don't normally do, it may have triggered my dormant tiredness that was already there. I'm not out of shape though... K so when I got home I was hoping to have a lazy evening just chilling out at my house doing whatever maybe sleeping. Instead, my mom and I went to the mall. I am not a big shopper! At least for clothes shopping, I actually think it's a lot of work finding affordable styles I like and then getting the right sizes. Absolutely not my thing, but I needed more clothes.
I went, whatever, it was alright. We got Guitar Hero III for my brother's birthday. So I'll have to wait to play it. But that itself is an answer to prayer because my mom was worried we wouldn't be able to find any and there was lots at BestBuy where we bought the first one, and then we went to this other smaller store where they had some at a cheaper price. We returned the first one.
Here's what's important of this post: When we were done we got some Ice Capps from Tim Hortons (haha you guys don't have Tim Hortons :P) and pulled up in an empty parking lot and accidentally saw some fireworks. I was hoping for some good mother-daughter time. A lot of the time it seems like all she ever thinks about is my homework, honestly it's kind of important but it's nowhere a top priority in my life. And it's really irrelevant to anything I spend much time thinking about.
So I extended her the same offer to her that I offered you guys to ask me anything at all. Take one guess what she asked me. It's quite ridiculous. She asked me what my favourite animal was. I kinda got really frustrated after a little while. I love her but she doesn't really know me. Doesn't she want to know a little bit more? To know what makes me tick? What I'm passionate about?
I'm willing to talk but I really wish she'd just show some real interest in my life. Don't get the wrong impression though, she's definitely not some horrible mother. She's unique and really different from me. She's weird - in a good way but none the less weird. I guess this kind of thing really isn't one of her strengths. She said herself that she wasn't good at making up questions. I told her that I didn't just mean random questions but like anything. Still nothing.
Inside, when we got back to the house all the frustration, exhaustion, and a little bit of that-time-of-the-monthness, all kicked in and erupted. In other words, I cried some tears and tried to tell her what was bugging me. I don't really know how it all turned out but it's all good. And well it's a relationship, so you just gotta put some work in to get anything out.
We hugged this morning. And I think we're cool.
Now for an update on my friend. God is already starting to answer some prayers. Yesterday I had a golden opportunity to ask her about why she cuts, and so I did.
That's all, I'll chat with you ladies later!
5 comments:
By the way it's not 6 in the morning right now, it has the wrong time somehow. But it feels like 6.
Changed it.
Hey, so I see I had some catching up to do on your posts. All caught up, though!
I think that is great that you are trying to grow closer to your mother. My parents are constantly trying to find out what I am thinking and how I feel about things, but for some reason, I have always had trouble telling them all that. I have also had a fear of seeming stupid, but I think in any case you are bound to meet people who think that of you- that doesn't mean you are though. I have to constantly remind myself that my parents do not think that of me and are all to willing to listen to me. I simply have to remember this. Waiting for the perfect moment, though, has never seemed to help. On the days I planned to talk to my mother about something or thought an outing would be filled with private conversations, I was very often disappointed. God just seems to place those moments in our lives when I can open up and she talks to me as well. It doesn't happen when things are planned out. It happens when I get up in the morning and say hi or when I'm home for break from work. It's always very random. All it takes is a minute to tell your thought and you may be surprised to find when they were listening and what they hear.
I do pray you are able to continue opening up to her, though. God knows we need are parents guidance and shoulders to cry on.
I think that sometimes it's hard for moms to know what to ask. I think that maybe they are afraid that when we say "ask me anything" we have something bad to tell them. And no parent wants to hear something bad that their child did. And not that you did anything bad, but I am just assuming that may be partly why she was weary of asking you a question.
I love that you gave her the chance to open up though. That's really huge!! A lot of people our age wouldn't even try. I'll be praying about your relationship with her :)
And that's FANTASTIC about the girl. I pray that you can continue to have those outlets where you can talk to her.
Love you girl! And you are right... God fixing what is broken is what is truly beautiful. And I replied to all your posts below!!
<3
i dissected a fetal pig once too in anatomy class. surprisingly, stuff like that doesn't gross me out (we did human cadavers once too and i wasn't afraid - is that sick and morbid?).
anyhoo, i understand what you're feeling about your relationship with your mom and just wanting her to tap into your heart and what really makes you YOU. i've wished that same thing with my father. it may be the case with your mom that she's not comfortable with emotions or intimate things? just speculating. i know she loves you, no doubt, but maybe throughout her life/upbringing, maybe her family didn't talk about deeper things and so she finds it hard or doesn't know how? just my thoughts (that's what i think my dad's issue his - his mom never really was that way with him, so he's not that way with us).
i will pray for whatever bubble that may exist in there, that God will open doors for you two to be able to really talk and develop an even closer relationship.
and praise God for answered prayers with your friend. i'm glad she has you in her life :-)
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