this coming weekend my youth group is going to snocamp. but i'm not. i've been telling people that i went to virginia and so i had chosen that over snocamp. and people believe that really easily. i'm sure i could've found a way to go if i wanted to but really i just don't wanna go. lately i've been feeling like i have no real friends in that youth group. it's like one big clique that i don't fit into. a large part of me continually wants to give up on them but i still do love them so i'm not ok with doing that. i feel like this a lot.
just an observation, this blog thing isn't quite the same as it used to be.
that's probably partly my fault.
2 comments:
I know what you mean about cliques at youth groups. The college group I go to has lately been like that a lot and there are quite a few of us left on the outside of the clique. Like, more than half, it's just strange.
I'm sorry that you have to feel that way though. :(
Random question... have you thought anymore about the Honor Academy?
I think blogs go through up and downs, no worries dear one (:
unfortunately cliques are everywhere, even in the very places that are supposed to be inclusive and welcoming. like Sam alluded to, i've always been one of the ones on the outside of cliques. even the "nice" cliques...i was never really accepted to be a part of. it took me awhile to embrace that - that for some reason, God has designed me that way, that i'm not "a part of."
it's been that way since i was a very young child. my mom and i recently had a conversation about that, where she "revealed" to me that she's noticed how all my life i was never a part of the groups and cliques, that i've never really "fit in." and it's not that i'm not friendly or likeable, but just that for some reason, God has made it so that i've always been somewhat of an outsider.
but i think God uses those instances of separation and being on the outside to do His will in our lives and to give Him glory. for me, it has given me such a soft heart for others that i recognize are not being as welcomed or accepted, for the underdogs, for the pushed aside, and i go out of my way to minister to them and embrace them. i pray that those feelings you have, God will use them to strengthen you and show you His purpose for allowing you too take note of it.
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