Exam Week and Me

Most people just review stuff during exam week. Well, I'm different, I've been learning. Especially yesterday, and today.

I wrote two exams today: English and Math. And last night I found myself sitting on my bed, books in front, frustrated with myself because I didn't want to open them. Let me just grab my commonplace book so I can write some thoughts that I had.

Ok. I'm back.

"I really need to study.

I want to have motivation."
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"And I could be a smart kid but I haven't demonstrated the skills. It really bothers me."
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"And I don't want to write about this. I really don't. I'm disappointed in myself and I want to say that I don't care to make it easier."
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"But I feel like I'd like to rip out all my notes and throw them away."
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Here's the punch line:

"I'm looking forward to the new semester because it means a new start for me. I can't see what there's left to do well this semester so I feel like giving up. I want to do well but I just can't see it"
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Well, those are some snippets in no particular order. You probably get the feel. I could've done better this semester and I'm disappointed with myself. And when I get my grades back, whatever they look like, I will need to take responsibility for them without excuses. And this responsibility thing was like an epiphany either late last night or this morning. And I'm thinking that line from Mxpx's song, "Responsibility, what's that? Responsibility, not quite yet! I don't wanna think about it. We'd be better off without it." But it's important, and I really really do care. Next semester is gonna be killer.

AND!!!! Our God is a God of grace! I still have one more exam and kind of a three day weekend to ace it. Pray for me please. That'd be awesome.