Please Don't Ever Freak Me Out!

I was thinking earlier of just how much I wanted to post a new blog but really there's nothing at all going on in my life of interest. Except for school work and maybe skateboarding... There's no stupid drama(which is good) and there's no mind drama even, if you know what I mean. When there's something going on that's really nothing but you think about it so much your mind makes it bigger - none of that.

But I have been listening to the song Don't Worry Now by Britt Nicole lately. If you've never heard of her before and you're bored of all your music, then I would encourage you to at least check her out. I had a bad first impression of her and so I was prejudice of her stuff until my sister bought her CD and I actually got to listen her. She's really good and she's not just all one specific style, which I like. So here's the song, because it's just easier this way (please listen to it now if you don't know it):



Sometimes I make up stories when my life seems boring. Stories that involve me being in tough situations and then just playing out what I would do (in my mind of course). Popular ones and mostly the only ones for me include me getting pregnant either by rape or stupidity and also a death of someone I love, could be anyone even the all inclusive you.

Don't Worry Now talks about her losing her dad. And even though I've never lost anyone I really love yet, and definitely not my dad, something scary happened this past summer with my dad. FYI I love my dad a whole whack of a lot.

It was a nice summer day and I was at a great Christian family camp with my family for a couple weeks. There was another family there too that we're really good friends with too. So this one day, the moms, me, and my friend Josh who's a year older than me went into town to do laundry and hang out for a while. We came back and I think it was his sister Emily who ran up to the van, saying that my dad was acting really weird and he was forgetting stuff.

I was told not to come in, but went in within a short while. And from what I can remember, Melissa, one of our friends, had given my dad a drink of some sort to give to her dad. At some point he lost all his short term memory while we were still out that morning but God had probably saved him some way by giving him a reason to look for his friend and he met up with him and he asked my dad what he was doing. He said he didn't know and at first he thought my dad was joking but soon enough he realized that he wasn't and that something was wrong. My dad was asking things like where my mom was and why she had gone without telling him where she was going (when she had).

So this is where I come in, I'm inside the trailer and I sit beside my dad and start talking with him. (By then we were waiting for a nurse to come by and check him out). He kept saying things like "I feel like I'm coming out of a fog" but really he was in the middle of it, and a few other things I can't remember. He kept asking what day it was, which I remember was Wednesday because he asked so often. A couple times I would ask him what day it was to see if he remembered only a couple minutes later. He'd say, "I don't know, what day is it?" He didn't remember how he was the only one to go for the aldult's night swim the night before and did laps, or how he pushed himself to do 500 pushups that morning (which he found utterly unbelieveable, sort of funny but really not), or the motorcycle ride he went on with my mom and my friend's parents that morning (we actually went out midday for laundry, not morning), or anything the speaker had spoken about that week.

I only felt a slight bit of relief when I asked him if he remembered who I was and he said "yes, of course". But I left pretty soon after that. I went to my friend's trailer and cried by myself while playing what little I knew of guitar. They tried to comfort me saying nice things but nothing really helped. It was so weird seeing him like that, it was like he was there physically but just not there at all as actually himself.

I don't really know what happened after that, he went to the hospital that night. I prayed a lot for him. He just kind of got better over the next day. I think the explanation was it was some kind of mini stroke, not too sure really.

The whole thing really freaked me out for sure. But I'm really so thankful he's ok. Everything's back to normal and I'm really glad we had good friends there for us. It was definitely all God, who is awesome! Things like this make you see just how blessed you are for having what you have, y'know.

As a quick note before signing out, if you do listen to Britt Nicole, the song When She Cries descirbes me almost perfectly at one point in my life. Except there are a few lines that clearly refer to cutting, and I don't cut, but asides from that - it's bang on. If you let me know that you're interested maybe I'll save that for another time... yes I'll definitely share that with you guys some other day when I have nothing to write like today.

Peace!