This Year

So it's come to the end of January 1st, which means that there is a new year that just started.

Last year, my "new year's resolution" was to read the Bible everyday. That was really important because two years ago I wanted to read my Bible everyday but there was no consistency.

Now at the beginning of 2008, looking back on 2007, I did read my Bible nearly everyday although I did miss a few days. However, some days were simply just a verse or two because I had put it off til the end of the day and and might not have had the time or the energy to read something that would bringing me closer to God and on those days... I lost my train of thought but they really do much for anybody.

Just a few minutes ago, I was praying to God and telling Him of my passion to get to know Him better and just how much I love Him. So for this next year I'd like to read my Bible everyday but not just leave it at that. Each day I want to dive deeper into God and get to the Friend who's not gonna leave me for anything. (That's amazing right there).

Also I think for the first time since I went to Africa, and this is what motivated me to make this into a blog, I said, "I want to go on a missions trip". The past summer I went on missions trip to Malawi, Africa and I wanted it truly to be about God but that wasn't fully my desire, I wanted to make friends that last me for years to come, which was a big part of it, I wanted to have fun and have just a really great experience.

A lot of my energy was spent focusing on those things that weren't about God, and I say that wishing that it could be different. I don't think I got as much out of the trip because I wanted those things so badly, my heart ached because I wanted friendship with the other girls so badly and I was hurt. Please don't that that was only what was on my mind because it wouldn't be the truth. I wanted to go there for God it just wasn't the only thing, which it should have been. One thing that I learned a lot was teamwork while being there.

Things have changed a lot since then, which I'm glad about. It's funny how it doesn't seem like so long ago and I thought I was so mature. Not that I'm mature now, but looking back I've definitely changed.

Another thing that's changed since then is my relationship that I have with my friend Morgan who went on the trip with me. It changed on November the 19th, and I only know that because I journaled about it on paper when it happened. But what happened was that it was a Monday and we do this group/team thing on Mondays and we were talking about gaps that there are in teams and stuff. I don't know how much, if I have at all blogged about that group but it's a really great group that's focused on Jesus and I'm really glad to be a part of.

Anyways, that's a whole other thing that I won't get on to. So we were talking about gaps and that whole time I was thinking about how I was hurt in Africa by Morgan by the sarcastic comments she through at me. When I got home I called her up and told her what I was thinking about and told her that she had hurt me in Africa. And she was so good about it when I called her, she so understanding and loving, she was everything I was afraid she wouldn't be. I was so happy that I had called her but it was really all the Holy Spitrit that was at work in me that night. Before I had even finished talking with her I felt this enormous sense of freedom and when I did get off the phone I cried for a long time and started drawing picture, which I love to do. I'd still like to spend more time with her now but it's a much better place to be than where we had left off after Africa.

That was a tiny bit off topic but it was important and it did relate. So just tonight, recapping now, I had this desire that just came out of me to God to go on a missions trip and to totally be focused on Him, to go to do His work and to serve Him in everything. It's also very important to live like that day to day, focused on God!

Long enough, eh? Well, happy New Year's!